Page 154 of Only Fools Rush
“I can explain.”
“Explain what?” she hissed. “How you knew what they wanted from the start but didn’t bother telling me?”
“I didn’t want to put you in a position where you were forced into a choice you didn’t want.”
“Well, a lot of good that did!” she shouted. “I was forced into making the decision, anyway! I had to in order to get us out of that mess!”
Forced.Had to. My throat bobbed. I knew it. I knew this was going to happen, but I had to ask. “You don’t want to marry me?”
Her voice broke. “I don’t get much of a choice now, do I, Cas?”
Rejection tore down my chest. My body heated like a bomb about to explode, so quick and harsh it took my breath away.
She turned on her heel and headed toward the kitchen. I followed, but Ryuji grabbed my arm. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“You fucked up more than enough for tonight, bodyguard,” he snarled. “Give it a rest before you fuck up even more.”
I yanked out of his grip.
No. We were going to hash this out. She had to know I didn’t want it to happen this way. She had to know how much I loved her—how all of this had just gone wrong.
“Leona—” I said as I rounded the hallway into the kitchen.
“You know the worst part?” She wiped tears from her cheeks. “You lied to me. You let me walk in there thinking I’d done enough. That I wouldbeenough.” She raised and dropped her shoulders. “I have been doingeverythingto be the leader I want to be. I killed Kofler, I jumped feet-first into all this shit—all of it to gain the respect of those men. Fuck, to even gaintheirrespect—” She pointed at Obi and the other Shadows. “It’s all shit. It means nothing.”
I might have hidden what Giulio said, but that wasn’t the whole story. I never meant forthis.
“I…I did lie,” I choked out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hide it. I just wanted them to see you foryou.”
I glanced behind me, looking for Obi to bail me out a little, but the fucker watched it all with those reserved eyes.
“But theydidn’tsee me for me. They saw you. That’s all they wanted. I’m glad we got the men, but this?” She raised her hands to the side. “What is supposed to happen now, Cas? What doyouwant to happen?”
I swallowed. “What do you mean?”
“We have to get married to keep those men on our side,” she said, stepping forward with flames in her eyes. “But what about them?”
Ryu stared at me with so much disdain I thought it might drip from his eyes. But that was nothing fucking new.
Obi was an impassive stone.
Wynn couldn’t meet my gaze, but I already knew what he thought. He wanted it to be her choice. He’d warned me, too.
And Ciel? Ciel looked at me like I’d deceived them all.
“This isn’t a fucking betrayal,” I spat. “You’re acting like this ruins everything. Marrying me isn’t the worst thing in the world, Leona. It gets us everything we want.” That’s exactly what Obi said. It would give us everything we want. And I believed him.
She shook her head. “It gets you everything you want, Cas.”
I stood speechless. How did all of this go to shit so spectacularly? Everything I was worried about happened, despite how much I tried to prevent it. None of this was going according to plan.
“You’ve all been lying,” she continued. “All of you, but Ciel, were aware of this to some degree.”
“I told him to tell you,” Wynn said, voice low. “I told him this was a bad idea.”
She narrowed her eyes. “But you didn’t tell me either, Wynn. You let me walk in there and get blindsided.”
“It needed to happen,” Obi said. “Strategic decisions need to be made without emotion. That is what leadership is. That’s what I’ve been trying to teach you. We cannot take New York without being willing to make sacrifices.”
