“What is it that you want, Leona?” he asked softly, trailing the flat part of the knife down my cheek.
“I want your help,” I breathed as our eyes locked together. He had complete power over me in this moment, which wasnothow I envisioned this conversation going when I came down here. But that dominance was making my heart beat out of my chest.
He shook his head, black hair falling over his eyes. “You’ve said that already. Be specific. You want me to listen; here I am. Listening.”
I blinked, trying to focus on any rational thought, but all I could manage was a swallow and an“Um…”
“Oh? Cat got your tongue?”
“I want… I want revenge,” I said finally. I found myself leaning into him, like a moth to a flame, but I couldn’t stop it. I didn’twantto stop it. “I want you to be my hands as I strangle Max and avenge my father.”
“But for some reason, you feel like you’re different than everyone else.”
“What do you mean?”
“How long has it been since you met Wynn? About a week? And you’ve known since then our services costmoney. Money which you clearly do not have.” His eyes flicked down my neck to settle on the way my chest heaved at his proximity. “But you think your pussy is so good, you shouldn’t have to pay. You think you can own us, make us do whatever you want. If you just bat your eyes, all your problems will be solved.”
My jaw clenched as I pushed back on his chest, but he didn’t budge. “That’s not fair at all. I’m trying to get the money. Iwill. Getting Cas back has taken precedence. I have nowhere else to go right now.”
“And you think that makes you special?” His eyes flashed with anger. “It doesn’t. All it does is make you look like a manipulative, selfish bitch.”
“I—”
“You want touseus,” he cut me off. “You’ve offered no payment, no exchange for our services rendered. Wynn described that little necklace you offered. Had Ciel officially appraise it. You’ve already outspent its worthby faron the work Wynn and Ciel have done for you.”
I blanched. Was that true? Wynn told me it would be fine for now.
“What do you expect?” he continued. “That we’ll just drop everything and help the little girl who wants revenge for her dad? That your bodyguard is our number one priority right now, more important than the world leaders who pay us tens of millions of dollars to upheave entire regimes?”
Suddenly, Cas’s warnings about the Shadows returned. What if I created a debt I could never pay back? What would they do to me then?
“No, I?—”
“You thought you’d sleep your way into our affections? So we had no other choice than do you want you want?”
“That’s not fair?—”
“Isn’t it?” He said, pausing the knife over my heart. I swore he could feel my heart pulsing underneath it. “Then whatexactlyare you doing here?”
“I’m trying to survive.” I’d figure it out. I’d learn. I’d struggle. I’d win. There were no other options. I’d planned to ask Ciel to help me access my money to pay them, but Cas had taken up all my time and energy.
“You don’t need us to do that.”
“I do. I have nowhere else to go. I’m dead if I leave this building without your help.” The Shadows were my best chance.
“In the real world, people usually don’t get what they want.” His eyes flicked to my lips, another unspoken message beneath them. “People die all the time.”
Silence permeated the air as we stared at one another. Being near Ryuji was sensory overload, intensity on an entirely new level than I was used to. My brain was playing catch up to my body’s reactions. But this was my chance to get him on my side, and I couldn’t let that slide.
I took a deep, steadying breath. “Why can’t I get what I want,andyou get what you want?”
“And what is it that I want, Leona dear?”
“Tell me,” I whispered, searching his face. With as much calm as I could muster, I reached up and tentatively grabbed that lock of hair to tuck it behind his ear. “I want to give you what you want, too, but I can’t know if you don’t tell me.”
He leaned down so only a mere inch separated our lips. This game of cat and mouse, this push and pull, made my head dizzy with desire.
This was not the lava flow of affection I felt for Cas, unstoppable and inevitable.