Page 97 of Anyone But You
“Maybe you should go work on your little TikTok dances, and give me and my wife a moment of privacy.”
Amelia smirked at me evilly, and I knew I’d regret poking the PR Beast later.
“I’ll be outside, waiting to receive your mother.”
Amelia left in a swirl of cotton candy perfume and glitter, closing the front door behind her.
“Just for that, she’s going to have you doing TikTok dances,” Victoria warned.
“Fuck that. I’ll pull the leg card so fast. But let’s focus on what matters. My mother isn’t that scary of a woman, you know. Back in the day, she could pinch like a motherfucker, but I’m sure her decrepit, gnarled fingers can barely grip nowadays.”
“Ramsey.”
“It’s That Man Over There. That’s what you call me when you’re cross,” I reminded her.
“You do not have to disrespect your mother to make me laugh.”
I anxiously scratched the back of my neck, feeling like a scolded child. She was right, of course.
“I apologize, Victoria. I’m a little nervous myself. I haven’t seen her in a while, and I want the two of you to get along. Seriously, I’m a mess on the inside.”
She nodded.
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” she promised.
“I know you will. Polly Pocket mentioned that you’re overwhelmed, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed, but I didn’t want to suggest that you step down from your duties because not having you by my side is—quite frankly—a terrifying thought. I like having you near because you’re the only person in this world whom I can trust. Hell, sometimes, I can’t even trust myself. The day goes by faster when you’re there.”
“Why is that?” she asked curiously.
“Because I can fantasize about fucking you in those pencil skirts. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun.”
“Where’s Detective Benson and Stabler when you need them?” she commented, already tired of my mischief.
“Busy with other predators, I suppose. Look, let’s cut to the chase. I know we have this dynamic between us. It’s unshakeable, but it’s about time we’ve learned to cut the cord before our bond does more harm than good. It’s scary and uncomfortable thinking you’ll no longer be a shout or instant message away during the day, but it’s only six months until I’m officially out. It sucks, but it’s for the best. We’re not on the island anymore, Victoria. We don’t have to live each day in fear—”
“We don’t?” she interrupted. “Because sometimes I feel like I live in Gotham City.”
“Can you not interrupt my monologue? I was on a roll.”
“My apologies. Continue.”
“As I was saying—fuck. What was I saying?” Victoria shrugged.
She’s a menace!
“I was trying to be nice to you, but I see you don’t appreciate pleasantries,” I said, groaning as I pulled myself to my feet.
“My grandmother always said people don’t take you seriously unless you’re cussing them out.”
“Well, I think I will take a page from your grandmother’s book. Fuck you, Ms. Caldwell. You’re fired effective immediately, and I’ll be seeing you in couples therapy. I love you.”
The gasp that escaped her was glorious; too bad my gloating was interrupted by the front door opening.
Victoria quickly recovered.
“I swear to God, Gio. Your mom better act right because my days of dealing with difficult-to-please mother-in-laws are over.”
I grabbed her shoulders and massaged them. “Everything will be all right, Tori. She’ll love you. I promise.”
