Natalie raises an eyebrow. “You are?”
I scramble for an excuse that will get us both out of here.
“I’m, ah, giving Tess a tour.”
Natalie blinks and then shoots me another evil grin that has me considering moving her smothering appointment to earlier in the night.
“Oh, I see,” she drawls. “Well, proceed, then. I’ll catch you later. You’re still starting the pony rides at two, right?”
“Ouais,” I bark.
“Sounds good.” She waves at Tess. “Enjoy your tour, Tess! Nice to meet you!”
I wait until she’s disappeared into the kitchen with no sign of coming back before I turn back to Tess.
“Sorry about that. Trust me, you did not want to meet three La Cloche lesbians all at once.”
Tess cocks her head.
“My friends are just very, um, excited,” I explain, “to have a…”
I trail off, my face heating up as I realize I haven’t actually ever heard her confirm she’s gay.
I’d have to toss my Gaydar into a trash compactor if it turns out I’m wrong, but I guess stranger things have happened.
“A new lesbian in town?” Tess guesses. “I am a lesbian, in case that wasn’t clear.”
I let out a heavy breath. “I didn’t want to assume…”
She chuckles. “What gave it away? Was it the hair? The massive carabiner?”
My relief is turning into giddiness now. I laugh along with her.
“Massive, eh? More massive than this?”
I yank my shirt up to reveal the carabiner hooked around the belt loop of my jeans, jammed full of keys, a mini Swiss Army knife, and a plastic keychain shaped like two interlocking pairs of scissors that Natalie and I thought was absolutely hilarious when we were eighteen.
“I don’t know,” Tess counters. “You tell me.”
She hikes her own shirt up, and there it is: the carabiner to end all carabiners.
It’s so thick it makes the waist of her jeans sag. She has even more keys than I do, and her Swiss Army knife is a full size model that makes mine look like a toothpick in comparison.
“Oh. Wow,” I blurt. I can feel my eyes bulging. “That is big.”
I tear my gaze away when I hear a knock on the window beside us.
Maddie, Natalie, and her girlfriend Brooke are all peering at us like they’re standing outside a zoo exhibit.
“Ah, shit.” I shoot them all a glare I hope they can feel singeing their eyeballs. “Sorry. They’re such creeps. Come on. I’ll pretend to give you a tour of the backyard.”
I lead the way through the lounge. People stop me every few feet to say congratulations or shake my hand, so it’s a good ten minutes before we finally get to the kitchen, where yet more people are swarming around the massive selection of finger foods covering every inch of the island.
I have to hip check one of my uncles out of the way so we can get to the back door. Tess and I both gulp down a few mouthfuls of fresh air the second we step outdoors. I hadn’t realized how hot the house was with so many people crammed inside.
“That feels good,” Tess says, fanning her face with both hands.
I tug at the neck of my blazer. “Yeah. It’s like a sauna in there.”