Page 104 of Touch the Sky
Mamangently releases my hand and then crosses her arms, rubbing at her bare skin in the cold.
“You know I want you to be happy, right?” she asks before I can tell her she should go back inside. “More than anything.”
She really has been thinking a lot. There’s a somber note to her voice, like this is all rising from some deep and secret place inside her.
“I know,Maman.”
I want to tell her she doesn’t have to do this. She doesn’t have to say any of this. We’re fine.
I don’t think that would help, though. She really does need me to hear the words.
“It’s been just the two of us for so long, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on anything because of this place.” She sweeps her hand out towards the farm. “If you want a family of your own someday, or even just a partner, I want you to be able to find that.”
My face heats up, and it feels like there’s a band squeezing around my chest as I wait to see if she’ll drop some bomb like telling me she caught me kissing Tess.
“I just wish I could make it all easier for you,” she finishes.
I try not to sigh too obviously. She must have things like families and partners on her mind because we have a kid living here now.
“Maman, you do make it easier,” I tell her. “You think I could even manage to feed myself if you weren’t cooking me dinner almost every night?”
That at least gets her to smile a little.
“It’s true. You aren’t a very good cook.”
I place a hand on my chest like she’s smacked me. “Voyons, là. Ouch.”
She laughs a little at my bad acting.
“But really,Maman,” I say, dropping my hand back to my side, “we both agreed I would do most of the farm work while we’re figuring out your treatments. It just makes the most sense. We are a team. We work together.”
I give her shoulder a little nudge with mine. She smiles again, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Sometimes I worry we need a bigger team.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that’s ridiculous, that we’ve managed for years and we’ll keep managing too, but something keeps my jaw clamped tight.
I look back out at the sky, where a few more stars have flickered to life.
“Sometimes I think about that too,” I admit.
I glance atMamanand see her eyes have widened. Even I’m surprised by what I just said.
I clear my throat and do my best to sound casual, like this is just some half-baked scheme I’ll probably never take seriously anyway.
Itisa half-baked scheme I’m not taking seriously, but for some reason, I can’t keep myself from telling her about it.
“I was talking to Tess about something the other day…”
I explain the idea of opening a boarding stable and how Tess thinks there are plenty of people in the area looking for somewhere to keep their horses. I tell her I obviously don’t have time to open another business—not all on my own, at least—but I can’t keep from pointing out all the ways the idea does make sense.
We have a half-empty barn with plenty of stalls. I already know everything I need to know about horse care and barn management. The trail riding business is slowing down for the season, and bringing in boarders would allow us to keep making money off La Grange Rouge all year instead of praying the summer is enough to see us through.
“We wouldn’t even need to advertise,” I tellMaman. “Tess already has so many connections from her farrier work she says she could get the barn filled just by word of mouth.”
I expectMamanto look shocked and have a hundred questions, but instead, all she does is stand there with her arms crossed, nodding like I’m reciting a script she’s already read.
“I’ve thought about taking boarders, you know,” she says after I’ve been silent for a few seconds.
