Page 69 of Glass Half Full
“Dylan, my man. Long time no see.”
Everything in me wants to keep walking, but I slowly turn to face him instead. He’s shoving his phone into the pocket of his baggy jeans, a black hoodie swallowing up his torso. When he blinks at me, the motion is delayed, like he’s really making an effort to keep his eyes open. He’s probably high, but his stoned persona wasn’t ever much different from his sober one, so it’s always hard to tell.
“Kyle.”
“Yeah, man. Almost didn’t believe it was you. It’s been, what, a fucking decade?”
Nine years. Nine years since I last saw this guy, and it still feels too soon to be seeing him again. He saunters over and grips my hand with his, giving it a typical bro shake. I want to pull away, but I’m finding it hard to move at all. Everything about this is unreal, like I’m stuck in a dream where even lifting my feet off the pavement feels like sifting through piles of sand.
“I was like, ‘Nah, that can’t be Trottard. No fucking way,’ but it’s you, man! It’s really you.”
Yep, it’s really me.
“What are you doing here?” I speak the words through a clenched jaw, and Kyle’s eyebrows shoot up.
“What do you mean, what am I doing here? I was walking up the street, man. Then I saw you standing there with those faggots—”
“Fuck off, Kyle.” As much as I hate to hear it, I’m glad he insulted my friends. It’s enough to snap me out of my haze and put an end to this bullshit. “Just fuck off. Why the fuck would you think I’d even want to talk to you? I don’t even want to see you. Get the fuck out of my way, and get the fuck out of my life.”
I start stepping past him, but he decides it’s a smart idea to block my path.
“I’m warning you, Kyle—”
“Look, man,” he cuts me off, “I know things got a little out of control, but you knew the risks. You knew what we were getting into. Shit happens.”
He’s right; I did know what we were getting into. I wasn’t blind. I made my own mistakes. I committed my own betrayals. The rage that’s making my blood boil at just the sight of him is fueled by a fury meant forme. He’s a reminder of everything I did wrong. I’m standing face to face with the past I’ve been running from, and it’s pushing me to the brink of self-control.
I need to get out of here. I won’t give him any more of my time.
I did my fuckingtimealready.
“You need to go, Kyle. Now.”
“Hey, hey, hey.” He holds his hands up. “Easy there, big guy. Maybe it will make you feel better to know the cops got me too, just a few months after that fucking party. I got hit hard with the community service bullshit.”
He grins like he doesn’t know what he’s messing with. He can’t know what he’s messing with or he wouldn’t be smiling. He’d be running.
“Community service,” I repeat, almost shaking with the effort to keep myself in check. “You got ‘hit hard’ with community service? And you think that’s, what, going to make me want to hug you or something?”
“I don’t need you to hug me.” He snickers. “I’m not a faggot. Is that why you were hanging out with them? Did prison—”
“Do you want my fucking fist in your face?”
I have one hand gripping the neck of his hoodie and the other aimed to hit him square in the mouth before I realize what I’m doing. My chest is heaving, and everything except Kyle is blurred.
“You’re gonna hit, me? Really, man? I was your best fucking friend.”
“You were never my friend.” My grip on his hoodie loosens. “You aren’t even worth the punch.”
I let him go as the realization hits. I’m standing on the sidewalk in downtown Montreal. It’s a wonder we haven’t attracted attention yet. Less than five minutes in Kyle’s presence, and I’m already priming myself for a fistfight. I’m already acting like a goddamn criminal.
Again.
“Get the fuck out of my sight, and if you ever see me again, you make sure I don’t see you. You got that?”
“Jesus, man.” Kyle straightens his sweater and shakes his head at me. “You think you’re better than me now? You’re a big shot, huh? Too good for guys like me? I wonder what all your big shot friends would think if they knew what you used to be.”
“I told you to go, Kyle.” I’m grinding my teeth into dust.
