Page 48 of Glass Half Full
“That’s one thing you don’t need to worry about.”
She grips my forearm where it’s swinging between us and squeezes, just for a second. As effortless as being together has felt, we’ve both been cautious with our touches. This one lets me know that whatever comes next in our conversation, she’s here to face it with me, not against me.
“We also need to face the fact that I’m your employee.”
“Yeah.” I suck in a breath as the impact of that detail slams into my stomach like it always does. “Yeah, that’s a big one.”
“I just want to be clear. You’re not, like, contractually obliged to not date me, right?”
“We don’t have a no fraternization policy or whatever,” I answer. “It’s a dive bar with a staff of twenty. People have dated before, but I don’t think the manager has ever dated anyone before, and I mean, it doesn’t really look great. I doubt Monroe would be happy about it.”
“Do you think she’d fire you?”
“Maybe not for this alone, but...I’m sure my job has been on the line for a while.” I can’t hold back the bitter reply.
“Why do you keep thinking you’re bad at your job?”
I turn my head and give her a ‘for real?’ look.
“People love working with you,” she protests.
“Yeah, but how do they feel about workingforme?”
Renee stops in the middle of the sidewalk and faces me. “Dylan, I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to think about it and answer honestly, even if you can’t answer right away. Do you like being a manager?”
“I’m grateful for it.”
That’s the first thing I felt when Monroe offered me the position: gratitude so strong it was closer to honour. She honoured me by giving me this job. There were people far more deserving on the staff, people without pasts like mine. My history had never been an issue for her before, and nothing had ever happened to make it a problem at the bar, but putting me in a position of power after she’d staked everything on that place was a whole new level of trust.
I don’t have reason to believe my past will ever follow me all the way to Taverne Toulouse, but that’s the thing about a record. You can never actually escape it. It’s always there, hanging over your head, waiting to cause problems and remind you of all the problems you caused other people.
All the problems you couldstillcause other people.
“I have to prove I’ve got what it takes to do this job,” I explain, “that I’m not going to mess this up.”
“Who do you have to prove that to?”
We’re still standing on the sidewalk next to some kind of clothing store. The mannequins in the windows watch me struggle to find an answer.
“I mean, Monroe for one. She’s given me so many opportunities over the years. The rest of the staff, too. They deserve someone they can count on.”
She gives me a hard look, like she knows the real answer as well as I do.
No small talk.
“And me.” I let out a heavy breath. “I want to prove to myself I can do it. I need to know I’m not gonna screw up my first real shot at something after...”
“After what?”
I shake my head. If I think any more about this, I’m going to end up bolting down the street away from her, like I probably should have done the second she walked in for her interview.
“Hey.” She steps forward, raising her hands to rest them on my cheeks. The contact has my blood racing as soon as I feel the heat of her palms. “It’s okay. Come back, all right? Wherever you just went, come back now. You don’t need to go there now. I shouldn’t have asked that. I just...”
“You what?” I have to keep her talking or I’m going to kiss her. Those lips are so close to mine.
“If being the manager at Taverne Toulouse is really what makes you happy, if it’s really what you want out of life, then I know you’ll make it happen. It’s just that I see you struggling sometimes, and it’s almost like...like part of your heart just isn’t in it, like you’re pushing yourself closer and closer to the point where you’re going to break, and I...I know what it’s like to break, Dylan. I would never, ever want that for you.”
“God, Renee.” It’s all I can say before I pull her closer, wrapping my arms around her as she presses herself to my chest. I rest my chin on top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair.
