Page 14 of Glass Half Full
“Whoa, curb your enthusiasm there, Beefcake.”
I glance at Renee. “Could we at least have let the new employee get through her first shift before anyone started calling me that? I’m trying to give the impression that I’ve actually some control over you guys.”
“What a pleasant thought that is, Beefcake. If only it were true.”
“Okay, Zachy Zach.” I pointedly use the nickname he hates hearing from anyone but DeeDee and turn back to Renee. “See what I mean about sarcasm fitting in around here?”
“Yeah, I do.” A sly grin curls her lips as she adds, “Beefcake.”
I sink back in my chair and groan as Zach gives her a high five.
“I’m finished with all the forms now,” Renee continues. “Should I head out to the bar?”
“Yeah, DeeDee will be ready for you by now. She’s going to show you, uh, bar stuff.”
“Bar stuff. Got it.” Renee pushes herself to her feet and heads out as Zach wishes her good luck.
My eyes trail after her as she goes, memorizing her shape.
“Bar stuff?” Zach questions once the door is shut.
“I don’t know what the hell they do out there,” I admit, unable to hold back the outburst. “Fuck, Zach, how did Monroe do all of this? There’s so much fucking stuff to know.” I wave a hand at the desk in front of me like it contains all the inner workings of the establishment.
Zach’s eyes widen. “You, uh, okay, man?”
I run a hand down my face. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”
He doesn’t look convinced.
He’s my best friend at this place, but I’m also his superior now. I doubt it’s professional to whine about how hard my job is to him. Then again, who else would I talk to? I can’t face Monroe’s disappointment, and I’m not about to grab the nearest prep cook for a chat. If I’m going to let the cracks in my got-it-together armour show, Zach’s probably the best person to see them.
I lean my elbows on the desk and blow out a breath. Zach takes it as signal to sit down in Renee’s chair.
“I was so fucking excited to be a manager,” I admit. “When Monroe asked, it was like...It was a proud moment for me, you know? I’ve come a long way to get here. For someone to have that kind of faith in me, it...”
“Yeah,” Zach agrees when I can’t seem to go on. “It means a lot.”
Monroe initially asked him to manage the front of house while I took over the kitchen. He turned her down to focus on some kind of ecommerce business he’s been running from home. As far as I can tell, the dude is making a killing, but he still comes in here for a few shifts a week.
No one has had any difficulty guessing why.
Still, I know for a fact that Monroe offering him the job couldn’t have meant as much as it did to me. Zach may be my best friend here, but Monroe knows more about my past than anyone on the Taverne Toulouse team. There are things I told her when I got hired, things I knew she might find out on her own. I wanted her to hear them from me.
I’ve watched people run from those words. I’ve watched people shut me out and write me off as soon as I say them, but Monroe didn’t bat an eye.
“Is this going to affect your work here?” I remember her asking that day I shuffled into the converted closet she used as an office back before the renovations.
I shook my head.
She gave me a single nod and said, “Then it doesn’t affect my opinion of you.”
I’ve spent every minute at this place working to prove she made the right choice.
“I don’t know what the problem is,” I explain to Zach. “Every day, I wake up knowing exactly what to do here and how to get it done, but then I show up, and I feel like I’m barely keeping it together. I couldn’t even work the damn photocopier today.”
He joins in my laugh at my own expense.
“I want to be the best boss I can be for you guys. I want to be someone the whole team can depend on. I want to be there for this place the way Monroe always has been, but I don’t know if I’ve got it in me to...be there for people like that.”
