Page 37 of Your Chorus
I see her swallow.
“It’s the easiest solution,” I continue, probably pushing my luck. “You said yourself that you’ve already tried to keep this from affecting the tour. Seems like the best way to clear this mess up is to fake it ‘till we make it through the next two weeks.”
“And then?”
Now it’s my turn to feel like my throat has gone dry.
“I meant what I said back in Montreal,” she asserts. “I didn’t come on this tour just for us to fall back into old habits, Cole.”
“I meant what I said too,” I manage to answer. “I don’t want to be your regret. I don’t want anything from you unless it’s something you really want to give.”
She gives me a hard look, searching for a crack in what I’m saying. She doesn’t seem to find one.
The dryer is full now, and the tension of the moment breaks when she turns to push the door closed before resting her forearm against it. She sighs. “I think Matt might be right. It’s crazy, but this might be the easiest option.”
I feel like I can breathe a bit easier.
“So how is this going to work?” she asks. “Do we just...walk around holding hands all the time? Do I sit on your lap in the bus? Do we make some kind of announcement?”
We both start cracking up. None of those things sound like us.
“I mean, if we actually started dating again, it would be so subtle,” she states. “We would just...look at each other more, be near each other. We’d have text conversations at night on the bus. We’d sneak off into the city after the show. I mean, we’d probably only kiss when we thought no one was...”
She gets quieter and quieter before finally trailing off.
“Yeah?” I prompt.
“...looking,” she whispers.
I can’t stop myself from taking a step forward. “No one’s looking now, Roxanne.”
Those damn eyes of hers stare up into mine. She’s so close I’m breathing her air. I don’t know if I’m falling into her or she’s falling into me, but I swear she’s about to let go and allow it to happen.
She doesn’t, though. She steps away.
“Good. That means we don’t have to start faking it yet.” She tries to keep her voice steady, but it shakes just a little all the same. “So we’re agreed, then? No fanfare, no dramatic speeches. We just tell people we’re together if they ask. We sit beside each other on the bus and shit like that. Maybe smile from time to time.”
“From time to time,” I agree with a smirk.
“Cool.” She points at my laundry basket. “You should start on that. Can you make sure Sanjay’s expensive shirts don’t get stolen out of the dryer while I go buy myself some lunch?”
She’s already walking towards the door out onto the street.
“I’ll try. And Roxanne?” I call after her. I wait until she turns back and meets my gaze. I shouldn’t say what I’m about to say next, but the truth is begging for a chance to come out. “If weweredating, I’d still kiss you even if everyone was watching. I’d kiss you in front of an entire fucking crowd. I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, but if I had one more shot with you, wasting it would not be one of them.”
