Page 84 of His Sound
“Okay, okay.” He takes another bite of his sandwich. “So what’s the plan now?”
“The plan?”
“For your life,sansMolly.”
“I need a plan for that?”
He gestures up and down the length of me. “The situation just doesn’t seem to be particularly...solid right now.”
I slidemon trucbackinto my pocket and try to sit still. It’s impossible.
“Same old, same old,” I tell Matt. “I’ll go back to what I’m good at. I’ll go back to what I know. No more of this digging down deep shit.”
“Well that sounds healthy and sustainable,” he quips.
I growl again.
“What about your solo project? You still working on that?”
How the fuck does he know about that?
“My...my what?” I splutter.
“Those songs you’re working on,” Matt answers matter-of-factly.
“I’m not working on any songs.” The lie is the opposite of convincing.
“Oh.” He licks a glob of peanut butter off his thumb. “Was that supposed to be a secret too?”
I give up on faking ignorance and throw my hands up in the air. “How did you know?”
“Found some sheet music in the rehearsal room,” he answers. “Also, sometimes I think you forget that we share a bedroom wall. I’ve heard you fucking around with some new pieces. I’ve been waiting for you to share them with the band.”
“They’re not for sharing,” I say sharply, “and I’m not working on them anymore. It was all bullshit, just something to do.”
“Seems like you were putting a lot of work into it.”
“Well I wasn’t.”
I get up and head towards my room. Matt’s eyes follow me as I go.
“JP,” he calls, just before I shut my door.
“Yeah?” I reply, glancing at him over my shoulder. He’s straightened up, and he’s watching me with something that looks like regret, maybe even pain.
“You’re not defective, okay? You’re not. I don’t know what it’s going to take to convince you of that, but...you’re my friend, and I hate hearing you say that. It’s not true.”
I nod, but I know he’s wrong. I’m not going to let myself forget it.
