Page 60 of His Sound
“Molly Myers.” His voice is a rumble, his accent thick. “In my bed.”
It hits me, then—really hits me. We’re doing this. This is happening. I’m lying on a mattress with my chest heaving, staring up at JP Bouchard-Guindon.
He bends at the waist and leans over the bed until his forearms are bracketing my head. The weight of him on top of me sends my breath rushing out in a whoosh. He smells like the same mix of laundry and sunshine he always has, still makes me feel as safe as my bedroom walls do, but my nerves get the best of me.
This is all so much. I twist my face away when he tries to kiss me.
“W—wait. Please wait.”
He’s off me in a second, rolling to sit up on the bed and stare down at me with a brow bent in concern. I scramble up to a seated position and hug my knees to my chest. He leans closer, swiping a lock of hair from my forehead so he can catch my eye.
“Molly, what’s wrong? Would you like to stop? We can stop.”
His voice is so soft right now. I shake my head to answer his question, and the hair he moved slips back into my eyes. We both let out a laugh that’s barely more than an exhale. The mood eases a little.
“I want to keep going,” I assure him, flipping the hair back out of the way. “It just...It really hit me, what it means to be doing this. This is a big thing for me.”
His eyes get wide, and then he nods a few times. “You haven’t done this before.”
“What?” My spine stiffens and I let go of my knees, sitting up ramrod straight. “No. No, no, no. That’s not what I meant.”
He gives me a look that’s open and honest. There’s no judgement there, no fear or alarm. “It’s okay if this is your first time. It’s only as big or as small of a deal as you want it to be. I just want you to know you can trust me enough to tell me.”
I can feel how red my face has gotten, but he cuts right through the embarrassment, neutralizing it with his acceptance. I reach for his hand on top of the blankets.
“Thank you for that. It’s not my first time, though. Really. What I meant is that even though I’m trying to let go of all the rules I’ve made for myself, I’ve followed them for a really long time. It’s still scary to break them, and you are...you are thedefinitionof breaking my rules, JP. On top of that, you’re my friend. I don’t have a lot of those, and it would a be a big deal to lose one if whatever we’re doing here goes wrong.”
I take a deep breath. JP must sense that I’m not done ranting, because all he does is squeeze my fingers as he sits there waiting.
“Also, I...I’ve had sex before. Several times. Really.” My next sentence comes out in a gush of words that get faster and faster until they all run into each other. “It’s just it was all with one person, and we didn’t even do much, and I’m worried I’m going to be a disappointment, or that I’ll need to stop or go slow or something dumb like that, and I’ll ruin everything between us because whatifI’mbadatsex?”
There. I said it. I just made the un-sexiest declaration possible. If JP had a boner before, it’s definitely deflated by now.
“Molly.” He tugs on my hand until I look at him. “I’m scared too, you know.”
A frantic bark of laughter slips out of my mouth.
“C’est vrai! It’s true!” he insists. “I don’t want to fuck this up either, Molly. Like you said, we’re friends. I don’t want to lose that. I’m serious, and...and I don’t really have a lot of experience taking things seriously. So yeah, I’m scared. I’m scared to break the rules with you.”
He moves our intertwined hands from the mattress and onto my thigh, where his thumb brushes over the seam of my jeans, stroking a rhythm that’s comforting and electrifying all at once.
“As for sex...” He clears his throat. “I don’t think it’s possible you’re going to be bad it, and going slow isn’t dumb. It sounds very smart, actually. We can take this whole thing slow, let ourselves get used to it.”
I might as well get everything out on the table now.
“I don’t...I don’t know if I’m ready to actually have sex today.”
Molly the Boner Killer strikes again.
“I want to,” I rush to assure him. “I want...everythingwith you, JP. I just might need to work up to that.”
I let out a little squeak when he lunges forward to pull me into his lap. I’m straddling him now, his arms locked tight around me as he smiles up into my face. He’s like a heat lamp when he beams at me that way—warm, inviting, and hot enough to make me consider taking my clothes off.
“That,ma belle, sounds like an excellent idea.”
His lips find mine, and we let our bodies take over until I realize I’m grinding my hips against him as his groans slip down my throat. We’re chest to chest, as close as we can possibly be in this position. He starts to trail wet, hungry kisses down my neck as soon as I pull my mouth away from his. My hands reach for his hair, and I yank the elastic out so I can bury them in the dark strands. He hisses against my skin.
“Holy fuck,” I breathe. “It feels so good when you do that.”
