Page 43 of His Sound
“Non, non, non. It’s gotta beIronman. He’s my favourite superhero, you know.”
“Well in that case...”
Molly presses play on the movie, and we settle back onto our pillows. We’re sitting up against the wall, legs stretched out in front of us and the laptop resting between them.
“Why is he your favourite superhero?” Molly asks, as the opening sequence starts up.
“Because he’s an inventor. If he needs something, he just makes it himself, you know?” I explain. “When I was a kid, I used to love taking stuff apart, putting it back together, figuring out how it worked.Voyons, who am I kidding? I still love to do that. Matt’s always on my ass about all the random crap lying around our apartment.”
“Man-child,” Molly mutters.
“Yeah, I guess I am,” I agree, chuckling. “I just always thought Tony Stark was so cool. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be this weird inventor guy who could make anything he dreamed of, who was funny and didn’t take shit seriously, but could be a total boss when he wanted to. All the other superheroes are always rolling their eyes at Ironman, but when it counts, they take him seriously. I don’t know. I just liked him a lot.”
Molly doesn’t reply right away. She’s quiet for so long that I start tuning into the movie, and I glance over at her in surprise when she speaks.
“You say you wanted to be like that,” she says slowly, “but don’t you think you already are?”
She’s still staring at the explosions happening on the laptop screen.
“I mean, you’re in Sherbrooke Station. You guys built your whole career from the bottom up. If that doesn’t count as an impressive invention, I don’t know what does. Youarea boss, JP. You’re impressive. You’re like...seven thousand times more impressive than anyone else I’ve ever talked to.”
I must look as stunned as I feel. She presses her lips together like she’s embarrassed, and we both go back to pretending to watch the movie. I can practically feel how close her hand is right now, resting on top of the blankets just a few inches from mine. I could place my palm in hers, wrap her fingers around mine. She might let me.
She might not.
I’m falling off that cliff’s edge, and the water is so damn close—just not close enough for me to see if it’s safe to drop into the waves. For the first time, I know what hitting the water and smashing into the rocks under the surface would mean.
They’d mean I’d lose this. If Molly doesn’t feel the same, if she’s not willing to give this a try, I could end up cut out of her life completely.
I don’t think I’m ready to risk that. I want to stay in this sanctuary for as long as I can, wearing dumb snail masks and watching superheroes take down bad guys on her laptop screen. I want to hear her laugh at Tony Stark’s jokes while I stare at the little gap of skin between her leggings and the edge of her shirt. I want to know her. I want tolearnher. I want to pick her apart like a piece of machinery and find out how every gear turns.
So when she pulls off her face mask and then shifts onto her side, staring at me with those big cobalt eyes that can go so round and so wide, I don’t ask her the question I want to.
I ask her one that’s safe.
“Do you like him?”
She frowns.
“Paul,” I explain. “Do you like him?”
She doesn’t have to ask what kind of ‘like’ I mean. I peel off my own mask and watch her scrunch her face up like she’s trying to work something out.
“I...”
Her hand twitches next to mine, and then she turns to stare at the laptop again.
“I do, yes. I like him.”
