Page 80 of Your Echo
22All My Heroes || Bleachers
ACE
“I don’t thinkthis has ever happened before in the history of Sherbrooke Station,” Cole muses, claiming one of the faded armchairs in our basement rehearsal room.
“Iknowit hasn’t happened before,” Matt adds. “This is an unprecedented event.”
Now that Cole has arrived, all of Sherbrooke Station is currently assembled to take part in a band meeting thatIcalled. I even posted it in the Facebook group.
“There’s been a lot of those lately,” I reply. “Unprecedented events.”
Matt and I lock eyes. I know he’s silently asking me if anything has happened with Stéphanie. When I shake my head slightly, the corners of his mouth turn down.
“I think life has been one clusterfuck of an unprecedented event ever since we went platinum,” Cole summarizes.
JP nods. “I don’t know what unprecedented means or why the hell you guys can’t stop saying it, but clusterfuck—that I agree to.”
I slap my hands against my knees. “Okay, enough shooting the shit. Let’s get this over with. I, um, have some announcements to make.”
I keep bouncing my palms against my legs as the guys all stare, waiting for me to go on. It takes a few moments before I do. The words I have to say next feel unnatural, like a new language that makes my tongue heavy and slow.
“I found a therapist,” I eventually manage to blurt, “and I’ve been to see her twice.”
JP gets up and thumps me on the shoulder. “Way to go, man!”
“That’s great. That’s so great,” Matt agrees, while Cole nods along with him.
“I still don’t know how I feel about it, but if it makes you fuckers happy...” I groan, trying to save some face. This moment is getting way too touchy-feely for my tastes. “But the second someone asks me, ‘And how does that make you feel?’ I’m getting the fuck out of there.”
I don’t have much to compare her with, but I think I scored big time when I found Doctor Elizabeth Lacroix. I walked into her office expecting to have to lie on one of those weird couch things while a woman in a white coat sat there clicking her pen.
Instead, Elizabeth greeted me in jeans and a blazer with the sleeves rolled up just high enough to show a flash of ink on her arms. Her office felt more like a living room. We sat on identical grey couches—not the weird lying down kind—and justtalked. I noticed a Radiohead poster on the wall, and we spent almost the whole first half of the session discussing music. There were whole minutes that passed when I forgot about where I was or why I was there and just let myself relax.
The second session was harder. That’s when the questions began, but it all happened so gradually, like I was the one leading the conversation. If I didn’t want to talk about something, we didn’t talk about it. If I wanted to change the subject, then we changed the subject. By the end of that second hour, I was steering us back to topics I’d wanted to pass over before.
“I’ll be seeing her once a week,” I explain. “Maybe twice, if we decide that would be a good idea. She’s really, uh, cool.”
I stare at the floor, still feeling like this conversation is way too emotional right now.
“Is she hot?” JP asks.
Matt reaches over and smacks him on the head.
“Ow,” he says pointedly, before turning back to me. “Well? Is she?”
“She’s not bad looking,” I admit, “and she likes good bands.”
JP gets his signature sly look in his eyes. “Ben, perhaps I could pretend to have a few psychological issues as well.”
Cole chuckles. “Trust me, JP. I think I speak for all of us when I say you don’t have topretendabout that at all.”
I laugh along with everyone else, thankful we’re back to taking shots at each other like usual, and not tiptoeing around every subject that might be ‘sensitive.’ So much about my life needs to change, but this—sitting in this basement and trading insults with three of the best fucking guys I know—this doesn’t need to change at all.
“In other news,” I continue, “I saw the doctor the other day, and my ribs are supposedly healing well. They said we should be able to start rehearsing again soon.”
I watch Matt and Cole exchange a look.
“That is, if you, uh, want to,” I clarify. “I know we’re on hiatus, but I’m feeling pretty good about things, and I think a few jam sessions could be a way to ease back into our routine.”
