Page 76 of Latte Girl
The puzzle on my phone is almost filled in, forming an image of the Knox Security building, the large sign above the doors looming like a bad omen. I move the final piece up to the box but it won’t snap into place like the others. The size isn’t right, and neither are the colours. A new pop-upappears.
That’s you, Hailey, in case you haven’t figured it out. You’re the piece that doesn’t fit. You appeared in my life like something rare and wild and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t let you go. I tried to shove you into a picture you were never meant to be a part of and I hurt you whenIdid.
The pop-up fades and then so does the puzzle. A new one appears in the box, this time with only a piece here and there. A longer message appears on top, and I scrollthroughit.
I’m going to live my own life now, a normal life full of mistakes and uncertainty. I’m already working to build it. I left my dad’s company, if you can believe it. This time I’m staying away for good. I’m still trying to track down my mom, but I’ll find her. I have to. Whatever role I played in her illness, I know now that talking to her is the only way to make itright.
I’m not asking you to let me into your life again. I know I have no right to do that. I just wanted you to know that none of this would have been possible without you, and that I think about how lucky I am to have met you every single day. You make everything around you better, Hailey. I was weak and scared and I can never apologize enough for what I did to you because of that, but I meant it when I said you made me want to be better, and now I know that Icanbe.
Whatever happens to both of us now, I just want you to know that there will always be a spot in this puzzle that’s shaped exactlylikeyou.
I stare at the screen, squeezing my phone so hard I’m scared it’s going to break. My eyes are starting to sting and I can hear the blood rushing inmyears.
There’s a sound of footsteps from over near the kitchen door. I keep my back turned as they come closer and then the clatter of a plate being set down on one of the tables rings out. The footsteps stop and the room goes quiet enough that I can hear both of us breathing, but still I keep my backturned.
The crooning folk singer fills the silence. I take a deep breath and put my phone back in mypurse.
“That,” I begin to say, pausing to swallow down the lump in my throat, “was the cheesiest thing I’ve ever read. A puzzle piece?Really?”
I turn around and he’s standing there, blurred by the tears I can’t hold back. I drag my sleeve across my eyes and do my best to manage ascowl.
He’s staring at me like I’m a solar eclipse, some cosmic event that makes you drop everything to run a catch a glimpse of the sky. He looks at me the way he described in his message, as if I’m something rare and wild. For the next few moments, we just stand there, taking each other in. The grimace I’m trying to keep up fades, and my face becomes a canvas for all of the longing that’s pulsing in myveins.
“I didn’t know how else to explain it,” he murmurs. “I just wanted you tounderstand.”
“Understand what a spineless little cretin you were?” I ask, wishing my voice wasn’t coming out sothick.
“Yes,” he responds, “totally spineless. An absolute little cretin. I have several other names to call myself if you want tohearthem.”
He sounds completely serious, and it shatters my resolve. I crack asmile.
“Write me a list sometime. I’ll keep itonhand.”
I take a step towards him, but he stays where he is, as if I’m a shy animal he doesn’t want toscareaway.
“Jordan,” I tell him, “I’m not going to say everything’s okay. It’s not. I want to try to make it okay,though.”
I move closer, close enough that I can reach up and place my hands on hisshoulders.
“I missed you,” I whisper, “in spite of everything. You gave me more than I’ve ever had from anybody. You made me want better things for myself, too. I don’t want to try to find someone else who can give them to me. I want themwithyou.”
I brace myself against his shoulders and stand on the tips of my toes to place a quick kiss on his mouth. He hesitates after I pull away, then leans forward and kisses me hard, his taste sweet and familiar on my tongue. I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and I meltintohim.
He breaks the kiss and then brings his lips to my temple, pressing them softly to the slight hollow. A shiver passes through me and I tuck my head under his chin, pressing myself even harder against him and closing my eyes as I breathehimin.
“You said to come find you when I was ready to be the real Jordan,” he says, his voice quiet but firm. “Iam.”
He reaches up to stroke my hair and I commit every detail of this moment to memory before opening my eyes again. I notice the steaming hot latte sitting on the table nexttous.
“What’s that?” I ask, not moving from ourembrace.
“Hmm?” hemumbles.
“Thatmug?”
“Oh, that,” he answers, squeezing me one last time before stepping away. “It’s a recipe Mel and I made up. Well, Mel did most of the work. I still don’t know much aboutcoffee.”
He flashes me one of his crooked smirks, the first time I’ve seen him smile today, and I feel a sharp tug inside me at the sight. He picks the mug up and offers ittome.
“It’s called the ‘Hailey I’m Sorry I Was a Complete Fucking Asshole.’ Mel says she’s just going to call it the ‘Hailey’ when she sells it to customers,though.”
I indulge him with a laugh and accept the drink. Bringing it to my lips, I inhale the milky scent before taking my first sip. It tastes like cinnamon and brown sugar and coming in out ofthecold.
“Any good?” he asks, lookingexpectant.
“Yeah,” I answer. “Verygood.”
