Page 128 of Alchemised
Helena’s mouth was so dry, she could barely swallow. Her words stuck in her throat.
“We won’t force you,” Ilva said quickly. “It’s only if you agree. You can say no.”
“Yes,” Crowther said with another thin, empty smile. “Ferron was quite specific that you have to be willing.”
This had to be a test. They wouldn’t do this, not after everything …
Ilva wouldn’t sell her.
“You can have a day to think it over,” Ilva said.
“But an answer now would be preferable, for all parties involved,” Crowther said pointedly.
Ilva’s fingers curled into a fist. “She should have time to think, Jan.”
Those words finally made it real.
Ilva had never offered Helena time to think about any of the irreversible decisions she’d been asked to make. Helena almost felt the now nearly invisible incision scar just below her navel. Ilva, who was always calm, who always did whatever she considered best for Luc regardless of the cost, had finally found a choice that even her conscience struggled with.
Not a test, then.
“I don’t need time to think,” Helena said. “You say we’re losing the war, and this is the only option, so—I’ll do it.” As she spoke, she could feel the blood draining from her face, head and body growing light.
Ilva stared at her and then at Crowther, and she gave a sharp nod. “All right.”
Helena’s fingers had gone numb at some point during the conversation. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to speak again. “How will you explain it—once I’m gone?”
Ilva cleared her throat. “Oh, you won’t be leaving. Not immediately anyway. To start, you’ll act as liaison between the Resistance and Ferron. You’ll see him—what was it?”
“Twice weekly,” Crowther said.
“Yes. You’ll go every four days, acting as his point of contact, and pass the information he gives you to Crowther, who will ensure it reaches the right members of the Council and the commanders. The rest of the time, you’ll remain here, and everything will operate as usual.”
“Oh,” was all Helena could say.
She should feel relieved by that, but she didn’t feel anything. The room was tunnelling; Crowther and Ilva were down a long telescope. Even their voices were far away.
“Given the sensitive nature of this arrangement, there will be no official records or acknowledgement of any kind,” Crowther said. “And under absolutely no circumstances are Luc or any other friends or acquaintances you may possess to have any idea of this. Do you understand, Marino?”
“Yes.” Her ears were ringing.
Crowther said something else about healing herself as necessary to avoid raising questions. She couldn’t make out all the words.
She just nodded and said yes again.
CHAPTER 24
Februa 1786
IT WAS DAWN WHEN HELENA REACHED THE top floors of the Alchemy Tower. What had once been the Holdfast family’s city residence was now rooms for Luc and the paladins and a few other alchemists.
As Helena came around the bend of the hallway, the door ahead swung open, and Luc walked out.
“Hel!” His face lit up for an instant, but then he stopped short. “What happened?”
She stared at him, stunned that he’d read everything in her expression so quickly. Then she realised he was staring at her clothes.
She looked down. She was still covered in dried blood.
