Page 43 of Alchemised
Helena’s chin snapped up. “Well, you won’t have much luck with me. I’m sterilised.”
She winced as Stroud’s resonance suddenly jabbed into her lower abdomen. A moment later, disappointment and anger lit Stroud’s face.
“When did this happen?”
Helena looked away, staring across the room so hard, her vision blurred. “It was one of the conditions the Falcon had for allowing me in the city. Since vivimancy is a corruption of the soul that begins in the womb, it could—it could be passed on. I’d already taken vows as a healer that I wouldn’t ever marry or have children, but he—” She swallowed. “He wanted to be sure.”
“And of course you agreed,” Stroud said, withdrawing her hand. “Because you thought they’d accept what you are if you only reduced yourself enough.”
Heat spread along Helena’s jaw. “There wasn’t any point in refusing. Like I said, I’d already made the vows.”
Stroud chuckled. “Usually, it was children who fell for that lie.”
Helena looked at her, eyes narrowing.
Stroud had an arch expression and glanced at Mandl again. “Didn’t you know? Your Eternal Flame was quite adept at identifying potential vivimancers not even born. It was, what, thirty years ago that Principate Helios mandated that all pregnancies be managed by the Faith’s hospitals. Devout doctors trained to know what to look for and what solutions to offer. What kind of parents would want to keep a monster once they’re warned of the danger?”
Helena’s stomach clenched.
“Mandl here was abandoned at birth, raised as an orphan in one of the aeries. Children like her were told their soul’s corruption must be purified, and that if they did what was asked, they might be wanted someday.” Stroud shrugged. “Of course, neither the Faith nor Paladia ever did want them for anything but forced labour. And look, they handled you the same way.”
“No,” Helena said, shaking her head. “Luc wasn’t like that. He didn’t even know about the conditions for me becoming a healer. Or how healing worked. He wouldn’t have let me, if he’d known. People like Falcon Matias had harsh views, but Luc was always reining people like the Falcon in. Once it was over, he wanted to—”
“If he didn’t know, all that means is that he was a puppet and a fool. And you’re still one,” Mandl said, her dead face seething with hatred, before she turned to Stroud. “You should tell her what His Eminence did with Holdfast after he killed him.”
Helena’s stomach dropped like a stone. She looked quickly between them, but Stroud shook her head. “Remember your place, Mandl.”
When they were gone, Helena sat, frozen and wondering what had happened to Luc.
Of course it was no surprise they hadn’t cremated him properly, but—what had been done that Mandl wanted Helena tortured with knowledge of?
Luc had never deserved the cruelty and hatred he’d been subjected to.
She’d admit he hadn’t known everything, but that wasn’t because he was a puppet. The position of Principate was complex. Being a religious head and ruler was a difficult task, especially during war when he was expected to be fighting and governing. He couldn’t be weighed down by everyone else’s personal decisions.
Some choices had to be made without him, certain sacrifices that would have paralysed him to make or even know of. That didn’t make him a puppet. It made him human.
Helena had loved him for how human he was. He didn’t need to be Principate or favoured by the gods. He’d been good enough just as he was.
FERRON MADE HIS ROUTINE APPEARANCE after Helena’s inedible lunch. She went resignedly to fetch her cloak.
“No need today,” he said. She paused, looking at him warily.
The door closed behind him with a soft click.
His fingers spun, and his resonance seized hold of her. She was pulled forward. Once she was near the bed, his hand flicked, toppling her back onto the mattress.
Ferron sauntered over, expression bored, the only emotion a glint in his eyes.
Helena bit her lip to keep quiet, willing her breathing to steady as she fought against his resonance.
He stared down at her through hooded eyes.
She hadn’t even considered this. She should have. She knew he was a monster, but he’d never shown interest.
As if interest had anything to do with it. Her mind raced. Why now? Why today? Had Stroud mentioned that Helena was sterile, and he’d seen that as an opportunity? Something he could exploit without consequence?
A whimper crept up her throat. She wished she could sink through the surface of the mattress and suffocate there. Wished she could scream. Her fingers managed to flex, but in the place where her resonance should be, there was nothing but a gaping wound.
