Page 365 of Alchemised
Clarity struck, and she gripped him tighter, nails biting his skin.
“The obsidian—Mandl and the rest—was that—was that you …?”
“It was.”
Her jaw trembled, her eyes burning. “Was it—always you?”
“Yes.”
All the Resistance fighters, secret members of the Eternal Flame that she’d convinced herself were out there, all melted away until only Kaine remained. Her captor and nightmare.
She nodded, looking away, unable to reconcile her simultaneous relief and horror.
He was alive. She’d kept him alive. That was what she’d wanted but—
Not like this.
“Why’d you kill Lila?” Her voice cracked.
“I didn’t. She’s alive.”
She stared at him. The pain in her head seemed to make him glow. “Grace saw her body. Everyone at the Outpost saw it. Mandl kept her at the gate.”
“She was pregnant, and she was the only surviving Bayard. They weren’t going to stop looking for her until they found a body. I produced one. It was your idea.”
Helena had no memory of that. She didn’t know how to believe anything he said, so much deceit lay between them.
“She has a son now. An exceptionally noisy child, named for his grandfather. And every time I’ve seen her, she’s tried to murder me at least twice.”
That did sound like Lila. Helena lifted her head, her throat aching with the desire to believe him. “Where is she?”
He shook his head. “Not in Paladia, but you’ll see her soon. You promised Holdfast you’d take care of them, remember? They’ve been waiting for you.”
Her heart rose, but then she remembered all the other things he’d told her, said to her. She shrank away.
“I don’t believe you.” Her jaw trembled uncontrollably.
“I know.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand. I can’t remember—I only remember you.”
She wanted to reassure herself that he was real, but he couldn’t be real. The person in her memory couldn’t exist because Kaine Ferron had killed everyone. Eradicated the Eternal Flame, hunted down anyone in the Resistance who’d dared to run. He was drenched in blood.
His throat dipped. “What—do you remember of me?”
He was familiar and yet so utterly changed, as if he’d been carved out of the likeness of the person she’d known.
“You—you spied for the Eternal Flame,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “You used to call me, and I’d come and heal you—and—annnn—”
Her tongue stuck on the word as bright scarlet pain burst through her head and everything tilted.
She blinked rapidly, struggling to think. She’d been saying something—something … Her tongue was fuzzy. When she tried to open her mouth, her jaw jerked, snapping repeatedly.
Her limbs and fingers all curled rigidly inwards, as if she were a dead spider. She toppled, and Kaine caught her just before she slammed face-first into the floor.
She couldn’t speak.
Her jaw kept snapping, lungs rattling as she gasped. Her head began jerking, slamming against his chest until he pressed his hand flat, holding her still. Her heart raced with panic.
