Page 39 of Devil on Skates
His breath is warm against my cheek. “What if it started like that... but became something more? Something unexpected?”
“But it feels like everything’s falling apart.”
His fingers lace with mine. “Maybe that’s not the worst thing. Sometimes stuff has to fall apart so you can start something new.”
“Your dad seemed pretty mad,” I say, careful not to push too hard.
He’s quiet for a bit. “He always gets mad when I don’t follow his plan. He’s put too much into me and thinks I’m some kind of project. He doesn’t want me thinking for myself.”
I nod. “I get it. My dad’s support disappears the moment I step out of line.”
“They should go to Controlling Dads Anonymous.” Xavier chuckles. “Maybe they’d realize their kids have a brain and feelings.”
I laugh, and some of the tension seeps out of my shoulders. He relaxes too.
We just lie there, wrapped around each other. For someone like me who’s spent so long trying to keep it all together, this feels like a small revolution.
“You’re not what I thought,” I say.
“Disappointed?” He brushes his lips against my ear.
“No, the opposite.” I shift to look at him. “I thought you were just a player who wanted what you shouldn’t have, but there’s more to you.”
His fingers brush my cheek gently. “There’s more to both of us than what everyone expects. That’s what scares them. The idea that we might make our own rules.”
Suddenly, I realize that the anger from our dads isn’t just about us messing up. It’s about us refusing to fit into the boxes they made for us.
“So, what now?” I ask. “What do we do with this mess?”
Xavier is quiet for a moment. “Tonight? We sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll figure out everything else. We have to decide what it is thatweactually want, not what’s expected of us.”
Sounds so damn simple and not even a little bit overwhelming like it felt when I basically fled my dad’s house.
“I can’t go back to my dad’s,” I say. “Not with his ultimatum hanging over my head.”
“You don’t have to.” His lips brush my cheek.
Who would’ve thought I’d find peace and safety in Xavier’s dorm room? And he’s right. Everything else can wait. For now, at least.
Chapter 20
XAVIER
USUALLY, THE PRE-GAMEroutine helps me switch gears from school stress to the straightforward world of hockey, but today seems different. It’s all more complicated because I know who’s sitting in the stands.
My dad texted me this morning, saying he was coming with some big-shot scout. That guy’s presence is what I’ve supposedly been grinding for and proof that I’m on the right track, and maybe even ready to move up from college hockey to the pros. But now, with my dad’s threats, the scout’s visit feels like more than just an evaluation.
And then there’s Irina. She insisted on coming too and it’s what I want anyway, even though it could cause drama, but it all adds to the pressure.
The past week changed everything between Irina and me. She’s been crashing in my dorm. We realized that neither of us wants our relationship to end anytime soon. Sharing the same space has helped us understand each other faster than months of dating ever could.
I’ve learned that she’s super focused when she’s studying, that she likes cold showers, even though she grimaces at first, and that she cares a lot about her future career. She’s seen me obsessively prep for games, binge-watch footage late at night, and get quietly insecure beneath my confident act.
And most importantly, with her, I don’t have to be the hockey captain with a shot at the pros. I can just be Xavier, who’s flawed, frustrated, and honest, even about stuff I never speak of with anyone else.
Coach’s voice brings me out of my thoughts. “Final checks, gentlemen.”
He scans the room, pausing on me with an expression I can’t quite read. Since our conversation in his office, we’ve kept things strictly about hockey, and I wonder if he knows that Irina is staying with me. She’s been sneaking around so no one would see her, and she told her mom she’s staying with a female friend.
