Page 23 of Devil on Skates
He backs me against a brick wall, not touching me but blocking my way.
He leans in, his blue eyes impossibly deep as they stare at me. “You’re hiding what happened between us. Hiding that you’re unhappy with your arranged relationship. Hiding what you really want.”
No one in my life ever speaks so plainly. Everyone dances around things, like my dad, the Costellos, and even my classmates. Xavier’s honesty is both refreshing and maddening.
“You don’t know me,” I say, but I don’t really believe it.
“I know you more than you think.” He’s inches away now, and my gaze falls on his lips. “I know how you react when someone wants you for real and not just out of obligation.”
The memory of that night flashes in my mind. His hands were so sure and commanding, and my body responded like never before. Heat rises between us, and my breathing turns shallow.
“That was one night,” I say. “A mistake.”
“Are you sure?” he whispers. “Then why did your breath catch when you saw me last night? Why are you looking at me like you want me to kiss you?”
The tension between us is electric. His scent and his closeness are overwhelming. I should push him away and put some distance between us, but I’m frozen and torn between what I want and what Ishouldwant.
He must know how I feel because he closes the gap, one hand gentle on my face. “Stop fighting it,” he murmurs, his breath warm against my skin.
Then our mouths collide.
Xavier kisses me like he owns me, with fierce certainty, and I respond, pulling him closer, my body flooded with warmth and desire.
He deepens the kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth as my back presses hard against the rough brick. One of his hands tugs at my hair, tilting my head, and the other rests possessively on my waist.
It’s as if time has stopped and all that exists is this moment, this man, and this intensity between us that feels so right it scares me. It’s what I’ve been missing with Keith—a raw connection that bypasses all logic.
But I can’t.
I can’t do this.
I break away from him, pushing him back. “Stop,” I gasp, my voice shaking. “We can’t do this.”
He tilts his head at me, dark desire in his gaze. “We already are,” he says, his thumb gently brushing my lip. “I know what you want... what you need.”
“No, you don’t.” I get past him. “You don’t know anything about what I need.”
Before he can say anything, I stride away. I’m not running, even though every part of me screams to flee, because running would give him power. So I move as calmly and as fast as possible, trying to ignore the fire burning inside me. I can feel his eyes following me.
Once I’m safe inside the building and hidden in an empty classroom, I let myself feel it all. My hands tremble, the ghost of his kiss still on my lips, as my heart pounds like crazy in my chest.
What’s happening to me? How did someone I barely know throw my whole life into chaos? Why don’t I hate him for invading my life and manipulating me?
I guess it’s because, deep down, part of me wants exactly what he’s offering: freedom. I want a real connection, not just one arranged by my dad. I want the chance to choose for myself.
My phone buzzes. I check the screen, even though I already suspect who it’s from.
You can run, but I’ll always find you.
This crosses every line, and it’s a total red flag. But beneath my fear, there’s a strange thrill. No one’s ever wanted me like this. Only for me and exactly how I really am.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” I whisper to the empty room, pressing my hand against my forehead.
I should block Xavier again, or report him, or tell my dad.
But I don’t want to. Whatever is happening between us... This dangerous pull that challenges everything planned out for me... It’s just getting started.
And honestly? I’m not sure I want it to stop.
