Page 4 of Royal Bargain
And I’ve tried everything—feeding, burping, changing her diaper, holding her close, wrapping her tight in a swaddle. Nothing has stopped the tears from rolling down her cheeks.
God, I just need her to stop crying for five minutes!
I glance at the front door, half-hoping it’ll burst open. Half-hoping Liam will be on the other side, standing there like some kind of reluctant savior. But that’s stupid. He’s not coming. He made that clear.
A sob catches in my throat, and I press my lips together, forcing it back. I can’t fall apart. Not now, when I’m all she has.
Lily lets out another sharp cry, and I clutch her tighter, pressing a shaky kiss to her forehead.
“It’s okay,malyshka,” I whisper, even though I don’t believe it. “Mama’s gonna fix this. I promise.”
I rock Lily harder, desperation tightening my throat. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be stronger than this. But then, I'd been so sure about ending things with Liam, too. That hadn't exactly gone as planned, either.
I think back to my time with my friend Clary—before I screwed everything up with my lies. She’d advised me to stand up for myself after I’d vented to her about the sorry state of myrelationship and I’d taken it to heart, seeking out Liam that very day.
“We need to meet,” I’d said, my fingers shaking as I clutched phone like a lifeline. “You and I, we need to talk.”
There was a pause on the other end before Liam’s voice came on. “Is everything alright?” I could hear the worry in his tone, the hesitation, but I’d plunged onward anyway.
“I’ll see you in an hour,” I’d said, trying hard to shut off my emotions as I hung up.
An hour later, my heart was pounding as the two of us stood there on the sidewalk outside our usual coffee spot.
“I think we need to break up.” The words came out almost mechanical sounding, belying the fact that I’d practiced this in the mirror before coming here.
Liam’s eyes had widened, shock written across his features. “You’re still angry I canceled on that date?” he asks, brow furrowing as he jams his hands into his pockets.
“It’s not just about the canceled dates,” I say, a tinge of frustration in my voice as I straighten my spine. “I don’t think you prioritize our relationship anymore. You seem distracted whenever we’re together.”
“You know why that is,” Liam says, his eyes narrowing, a growl in his tone.
“You’re right,” I say, a sad smile crossing my features. “We’re from totally different worlds. We tried to make it work, but it obviously can’t. We just weren’t meant to be.”
Liam runs a hand through his messy blond hair, taking a step back. “You can’t be serious, Ana. What about all the good times we had? We could be so good together. C’mon, please?” His blue eyes stare deeply into mine, holding my gaze.
This isn’t going how I planned at all, and I don’t know how to get us back on track. “Please, don’t make this harder than itneeds to be,” I beg. “I thought about this for a long time. I even talked to a friend about this.”
Liam looked shocked, eyes widening, a frown on his face. “You told someone about us?”
“Not exactly. I kept the details vague,” I insisted, waving my hand. “But that isn’t important. What’s important is that my friend made me see that you and I are all wrong for each other.”
Liam’s body had stiffened, his eyes looking down at the pavement. “I guess you’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you?”
“I wish you the best,” I said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He jerked away and stared at me before shaking his head, turning, and walking away.
I stood there for another few moments, trying to come to terms with what just happened before I made my way back home, the sharp reality settling in as I realized that I did it.
I broke up with the man I thought I loved.
Only… I hadn’t counted on how much it would hurt, not talking to him anymore—especially when I found out I was pregnant.
I knew I needed to stay away for both our sakes. It was the right thing to do. But I hadn’t counted on parenthood being so damnedhard. Plus, with the danger of my father and his men looking for me, I had hoped that Liam would help.
Maybe it was for the best this way. He’d never managed to step up before, so why did I think I could rely on him now? Why did I think he’d magically change his ways just because a baby was brought into the equation?
I sway Lily from side to side, trying to get her to calm down, but her cries seem to grow, fists waving angrily as she expresses her displeasure. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m at a complete loss. I hate myself for it, but for one terrifying second, I want to scream right along with her.
I’d always prided myself on being strong, able to do anything I put my mind to, but a tiny, helpless baby was proving to be my downfall. A bitter laugh rises in my throat at having to turn to my ex-boyfriend for help with all this.
