Page 23 of Royal Bargain
Just when I think the bed is going to break under us, Ana stops moving, tensing up as she reaches climax, her soft wail coming out desperate, melodic, and all mine.
“Good girl,” I praise her, earning another soft moan. She circles her hips, seeking a second release, and I grip her tightly, bouncing her on my lap in short, rapid movements.
The two of us crest the horizon together this time, calling each other’s names as we fall apart.
Once we’ve come back to ourselves, we lay facing each other. Ana uses her finger to trace an absentminded heart over my chest.
“I don’t know if it’s okay to say this, but I have to admit that I never stopped being attracted to you.” I admit, my anxiety and worry from earlier gone now that Ana is at home, in my bed.
Ana gives me a soft smile. “Me neither. Even after we broke up, I still thought about you all the time. Especially in my second trimester.”
She smirks, and I mentally run through my pregnancy knowledge before grinning back at her.
“I think I was just fooling myself if I thought I could waltz in here and keep things strictly platonic,” she says. “But at the same time, I don’t know if this is right for us.”
Her words are like ice, throwing a chill on the mood between us as she continues speaking. “Things are confusing for me right now. I’m trying to find a way to make it on my own, to stop relying on others for protection.”
“But you know that even if Lily wasn’t in the picture, I’d still protect you from your father,” I mumble out. “I might have been on the fence at first, but I would never have let you falter on your own.”
“I know. But it was selfish of me to ask,” she says, then sighs. “We need to stop this. It can’t mean anything. We need to be mature and act like friends and coparents. Let’s just put this incident behind us and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
My chest hurts as I process her words. I want to fight, to rail against her, to protest the fact that she keeps making decisions for us on her own. But I know that she’s right. It’s dangerous to let Ana get close to me like this, and every time we fall into bed together, it’s another opportunity for her to walk away again after, to break my heart all over again.
“I get it,” I say, tugging the sheets up around us. “Strictly platonic, right?” My words hold a wry tone, but Ana doesn’t seem to notice as she hears Lily begin to fuss downstairs.
“I’ll go back to sleeping on the couch if it makes things easier,” she says as she pulls my t-shirt over her head.
It’s hard to look at her knowing that she’s standing there wearing my shirt, offering to sever all ties between us, but I shrug, putting on a fake smile. “Nah, it’s fine. You’ll get better sleep in the bed anyway. Don’t worry about it.”
Ana nods and pads off downstairs to check on the baby, unaware of the tumultuous storm she’s created in my heart.
10
ANNIKA
Ishouldn't feel guilty.
That's what I keep telling myself as I blend concealer under my eyes and smooth out the eyeliner wing that’s being stubborn this morning. What happened last night with Liam felt like it was inevitable. I knew letting things go too far was a mistake, and still, I did it. We crossed a line, and I pushed him away before we could blur it even more.
Still. He looked so hurt when I told him we had to end this before it got complicated.
I swallow the lump rising in my throat and turn up the volume on my playlist. I don’t want to think about the look on his face when I told him we were a mistake. I don’t want to feel the way my chest clenched as I shut the bedroom door behind me. It’s easier to focus on something I can control.
Like getting ready for tonight. My first performance.
The start of something real, something that’s just for me.
The loft is quiet, save for Lily’s soft coos from her bassinet, and the faint sound of the oven beeping. Liam hasn’t said much since we woke up. He offered to make breakfast, but there was something different about him. He was quieter. His frustrationwas evident in the way he moved, the way his jaw ticked as he clenched it.
I try not to let it get to me.
“This is it,” I say as I reapply my lipstick, watching him through the mirror as he walks past the bathroom doorway. “Tonight’s the night.”
He doesn’t answer right away. Just stands there, arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the wall like he’s trying not to snap.
“I don’t like it,” he finally says.
I straighten up, staring him in the eye. “We’ve already talked about this.”
