I knew I wouldn’t be able to say it to her face. Because I’m a coward. A piece of shit. Scum of the earth. It’s the only way you can explain how I could let her be hurt twice in one week. I put the business before my wife, and it got her hurt.
And yet I continue to do the same thing. To put her second. To put the De Luca legacy first.
To be fair, I don’t have a choice. It’s not a decision I’ve made because it’s what I want. Because the truth is, if I had a choice, I’d walk away today.
I’d pack Riley and the demon cat up, and we’d be on our way to some island to live out our days in safety.
But that’s never going to be a reality for us, and that’s why I have to let her go.
Riley deserves everything that’s good in the world. She deserves a man who can put her first, who can love her and protect her.
But I’m not that person.
Colten sits across the desk from me, glaring at me every so often when he can drag his eyes off his screen. My best friend has never been particularly emotional. Lexi is the exception to that rule for him, but right now I’m on the receiving end of his disdain.
I’m actually on a lot of people’s shit lists right now, but none more than my family.
“You find anything?” I ask, finally minimizing the camera feed so I can focus.
“Nope.”
“Colt, I?—”
“No, Cruz. You’re being a fucking idiot.”
“Says the guy who has loved my sister since elementary school and has never made a move.”
He huffs. “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about the fact that your wife is sitting upstairs, scared and uncertain, and you’re down here punishing yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.”
I flinch. The idea that Riley is suffering without me once again has nausea rolling in my gut. “She’s better off without me.”
He rolls his eyes and returns his attention back to the screen in front of him. He’s the only one who knows for sure what I’m planning to do, but something tells me his reaction won’t be the worst.
My mom’s will.
Or perhaps Lexi’s.
Either way, they’re going to hate me, but they’ll never hate me as much as I hate myself.
“We need to call a family meeting,” I say. “I want every capo at the estate in the next hour. I don’t give a fuck what they’re doing. This is a mandatory meeting, and failure to attend will be punishable by death.”
Colten’s brows rise almost to his hairline, but he just gives me a quick nod and starts typing on his phone.
It’s time to weed out the rats, no matter the cost.
Istare down my men from where I’m sitting at the head of the table.
It’s a position I’ve been in too many times to count, but today is different.
Since taking over for my father, I’ve tried to rule the family in a way that was fair. I wanted everyone to have a voice, to push the family into the future together. But it seems that was a mistake.
Maybe it was wishful thinking that a crime family could ever be a democracy.
The last of my men take their seats, and I lean forward slowly, moving my eyes over everyone in the room. The fifteen men who sit before me have been part of the organization for as long as I can remember. Some grew up in the ranks, others served under my father, but none of them is above suspicion.
“For a long time, Colten and I have been aware of a quiet rebellion happening within our ranks, and we’ve been working to weed them out. However, we never wanted to accuse anyone without evidence.” I pause, watching for any tells. “That was a mistake.”
A few of the men glance toward the door, but Colten steps in front of it, making it clear that no one is leaving this room until we’re good and ready.