Page 25 of The One Night Match
He will?
A wave of dizziness comes over me, and I press my eyes shut as I try to center myself. I’ve always been prone to anxiety, but it’s been a while since I’ve felt so out of control, and it’s making my body go haywire.
“If you’ll excuse me, we could both use a few minutes to ourselves. I’m sure you understand how overwhelming this kind of event can be.”
Cruz doesn’t wait for her response before guiding me around the tables and through a door I didn’t notice until I was stepping through it.
The world feels like it’s closing in on me as my breath saws in and out of my lungs, panic dragging me under faster than I can work through the exercises I’ve spent years practicing.
As soon as we’re in a quiet hallway, I drop into a crouch, pressing my eyes closed as I try to imagine my happy place—the park overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge. I spent hours there most weeks, just watching the world go by beneath me, thinking about what the future might hold.
“Riley?” Cruz’s voice is muffled, like he’s far away, but from the gentle caress of his fingers down my bare arms, I know he’s right in front of me. “Breathe for me, Kitten.”
I’m not sure why, but I long to follow the gentle command. I will my body to calm down, to drag my mind out of the fight-or-flight response that is too easily triggered, but it’s fruitless.
The harder I try to pull myself out, the deeper the panic ingrains itself.
Every breath into my lungs is like a million razor blades, excruciating and hard.
“Come on, baby. You can come back to me. I know you can do it,” he murmurs, his touch the only thing stopping me from falling completely into the darkness. “I know today has been a lot. I’m sorry. I wish I could call Ben and get us out of here right now.”
He means that. I don’t know how I know, how I can interpret his emotions as mine run wild through my chest, but it’s clear as day how sincere he’s being.
I’m not sure how it happens, but one second we’re both crouching, and the next he has me wrapped around him like a koala with him sitting on the floor, no regard for getting his pristine black suit dirty.
“You take all the time you need, Kitten. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
And he means every word.
TWELVE
CRUZ
Riley finally starts to settle after ten minutes of solid hyperventilating, and I’m just glad as hell I got her out when I did.
The longer we stood in a crowd of strangers, the tenser she became. But she didn’t say anything. The only reason I knew it was happening at all was because I couldn’t allow a sliver of distance between us as we were both peppered with questions about what the future holds for us.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was about kids.
Riley and I are perfect strangers, and everyone in this place knows it. The fact that they would expect us to be procreating anytime soon is wild on its own.
But I know society’s expectations of women mean this probably isn’t the first time she’s had to deal with a question like this.
Why do strangers think they have any say about what a woman does with her body, anyway?
Watching her fall apart before my eyes made my chest tight, to the point I wondered if it was possible to have a secondhand panic attack.
It’s not. I Googled it after I got her in my arms and she buried her face into my throat, because I was genuinely worried.
“You doing okay, Kitten?” I murmur, pressing gentle kisses along her hairline.
I’ve never been an overly affectionate person. In fact, in the few relationships I’ve had, I was called distant and uncaring.
And yet here I am, unable to give Riley any space at all, despite how desperately she likely wants just that.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Riley. I promise. The way those old bats were coming at you, I think even I would have been anxious under all that scrutiny.”
