Page 31 of A Touch of Stars and Stones
She nods and then drops to the step, sitting down and burying her head in her arms.
And I’m dumbstruck as to what to do.
Touch isn’t something that’s offered easily or freely in Kirrasia. We learn what it can do during training. Outside of that context, it’s very limited. Personal.
Yet every part of me aches to put my arm around her, pull her close, and be damned by the reaction.
I settle for sitting next to her on the step above, keeping the distance I know is best. The slightest brush at lunch had me seeing flashes of memories running through my head, and I still wasn’t sure if it was because of my abilities or Ever’s.
“I thought I was going mad back home. Losing my mind. And here, people say they have magic. So great, I’m not mad. Only, I’m not quite sure that’s the case.” Her voice is muffled as she talks into her arms. And then she sniggers as if this is funny to her.
“You’re not mad. Maybe a little out of control.”
She raises her head and rests it on her arm. “Out of control? Nobody’s ever called me that before. I’ve not been called many things before.”
“I have a feeling that’s going to change at training.” Beautiful. Has anyone ever called you beautiful? I keep that to myself. Those instinctive barriers seem to slot into my mind, securing the thought as I want to keep it to myself.
“Will you promise me something, Aten?”
“Ten.”
“What?”
“Ten. My friends call me Ten.”
“And are we friends?”
“Maybe we could be.” My lip twitches into a smile as I rein it in. I want to be her friend. It’s like that thought, that feeling has exploded inside my chest, and it’s the most singular thought I have.
“Okay then, Ten. Will you promise me something?” She sits up and looks at me, snaring my gaze with her icy green eyes.
“Yes.” Anything.
“Promise me if you think I’m going mad. If I’m losing my grip and going crazy, then tell me. And help me figure out how to stop it.”
“It won’t come to that. It’s just a few weeks until the next full moon. I’m sure your Transference will happen then.” Selfishly, I hope it will. Ever will get the answers she needs—the power she needs—then. We all felt a little unhinged as we approached our Transference. But if you had never learned anything about your gift, I could see how it might tear you apart from the inside without you even realising.
“But what if this gets worse? I’ve suddenly been hit with this magic, and maybe it doesn’t work like it should because I’m not Kirrian. I’ve never been to Kirrasia before and now…” She’s rambling, her eyes no longer steady but wandering all over the place.
“You’re going to be fine. Look at me, Ever. Ever!”
Her eyes snap back to mine, and the ice in them thaws under my gaze. I can’t bear to think what she’s seeing in mine in return. The pull to run my thumb over her bottom lip—the same lip she licked with the tip of her tongue at dinner—grips me so tightly, I have to clench my fist.
My teeth clamp down, my jaw tense.
My words are slow and purposeful. “You’re just adjusting. Training will help. I will help.”
“Micah said that it’s rare for someone outside of Kirrasia to have powers, that you have Watchers to protect and find people like me, but that my powers will be weak, so maybe I am going mad.”
I can hear the panic in her voice growing as her mind spins possibilities, and I curse Micah Star for seeding more doubt in her mind rather than putting her at rest.
“Micah can barely make the ground beneath his hands vibrate. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” A white lie. He might not be gifted with magic, but he makes up for it with smarts.
“I did that, too. When we were leaving home. I got scared, and the ground started to shake.”
Visions, memories, voices inside your mind, and shaking the earth before the Transference? I force my face not to show any sign of concern at what she is saying. Her power is awakening, growing, but all over the place. From my knowledge, magic doesn’t show like that. It’s like she has gifts from more than one Order.
There’s an urge, deep-rooted inside of me, a desire, even, to share my own questions about the Order I now belong to and what my power actually is. I want to connect with her and have something in common with her. Instead, I offer a promise. “I will help you.” My own worries are mine, not hers. She doesn’t need the weight of them adding to hers.
