Page 71 of Anyone But Me
He held the mic in front of me and something inside of me broke. It was the part of me that held me back and always made me feel limited. “My name is Carter Miller-Cooper!” I shouted.
The DJ chuckled. “Okay, Carter Miller-Cooper. I need you to do me a favor. Anytime the beat drops, I want you to yell ‘These are the best days of our lives’ as loud as you possibly can. Think you can do that?”
Ten minutes ago, I probably would have said no, but now it was a resounding yes. He handed me the mic, and I danced in place while I waited for my cue. When it was getting closer to the beat drop, I searched the crowd for Jax. Our eyes met and everything else around me disappeared. It was just she and I screaming ‘These are the best days of our lives’ together.
That’s how it was the rest of the time I was up on stage. Even as I handed the mic back and made my way down, I kept watching her. When we were finally back together, she picked me up and spun me in a circle.
“That was so fucking cool!” she shouted over the music.
When she set me back down, I couldn’t stay still. I bounced from foot to foot and shook my hands at my sides. “That was exhilarating. Fuck yeah! Not so boring anymore, huh?”
Jax’s smile faltered for a brief moment that I would have missed if I wasn’t so attuned to her, because she quickly recovered and smirked as she leaned into me. “Wanna get out of here?”
I knew exactly what she was getting at, so I immediately agreed. The taxi ride seemed to go on forever as I anxiously waited to get back to the hotel. As soon as we were inside the door to our room, I grabbed Jax’s arms and started pushing her toward the bed.
Jax grabbed my arms back, but not in the same way. Not with the intensity which we normally did things during sex. “Hold on. I definitely want to do that, but I just wanted to ask you about something I think you said at the festival. Did you really make a comment about not being boring anymore?”
I dropped my hands to my sides. Where was she going with this? “Yeah.”
Jax dropped her hands as well and walked over to the bed. She sat down, then patted the spot next to her. When I joined her, she situated her body so that we were facing each other. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Have you ever not been?” I asked with a laugh, trying to act like I wasn’t anxious about where she was going with this.
“Touche.” Jax threw me a wink that eased some of my worries. “The truth is, I never thought you were boring. I suggested the list because it seemed like it was what you needed, but you’ve always been the most interesting person in the world to me.”
“Wait. Really?” My voice cracked as my eyes burned from the tears that were threatening to fall.
“Of course. You’re the smartest person I know. I love when you talk about things I don’t understand. I could literally listen for hours. You have so many layers, and you’ve always kept me on my toes, even before any of this started. You’re amazing, Carter.”
My heart was full for the first time in years. I was pretty sure it would have burst if that was possible. I didn’t have the words to express to Jax how she had made me feel, so instead I kissed her. It was different from most of our kisses. This one had more meaning behind it. This one was expressing all of the things I couldn’t say out loud.
Jax accepted my kiss and deepened it. Our lips moved slowly against each other as our tongues did the same. Fireworks went off behind my closed eyes and my heart beat rapidly as Jax carefully laid me down and brought her body on top of mine.
For the longest time, all we did was kiss, but after a while, layer after layer of our clothes came off. My hand was between Jax’s legs and hers between mine, but there wasnothing hurried about it. I touched Jax while I watched her face, taking in every single change in expression, from the way she slightly bit her lip when I hit a particularly sensitive spot or how the skin by her eyes wrinkled as if it was taking all of her power to keep them open.
When Jax pushed two fingers inside of me, I had to fight to keep my eyes open as well. Her warmth against my own fingers as they slipped inside caused soft whimpers to escape through my lips. This moment was everything.
“Do you mind moving your hand?” Jax asked. “I want to try something.”
I did as she asked and as soon as I did, she situated herself so our centers were aligned. Her pleasure mixed with mine, and it was impossible to tell where she ended and I began.
Jax stared down at me. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed, her mouth was a straight line, and her eyes—they held so much. There was fear, desire, and maybe evenlove.
“I’ve never done this with anyone,” she whispered. Her voice shook and sounded more nervous than it ever had before. “It always seemed too intimate. But I want to do it… with you.”
“Please.”
It was the only word I could get out, but it was good enough to make my point. Jax moved slowly against me, but never removed her eyes from mine. I pushed my hips up to get even closer to her and forced my eyes to stay open, so I never lost that contact with Jax. This was so much more than just sex, but then again, it always had been.
As I came closer and closer to the edge, the words Jax had said just a few minutes ago rang through my head. I didn’t need to change myself for her, because she really saw me. She hadalwaysseen me, and that’s all anyone could ever hope for. My orgasm hit at the exact same time something else hit me—I was head over heels in love with Jax.
For the longest time after our orgasms subsided, Jax kept her body on mine and stared down at me. She looked like she had so much to say, and I understood, because so did I. I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt, but there was something I had to do first. My sister wasn’t just Jax’s best friend. She was also mine, and I couldn’t move forward with this until I had her blessing. It was a conversation that needed to be done in person, which meant I had to find a time to see her, and it needed to be soon.
I immediately started running through my schedule in my mind, trying to come up with a time that worked.
Jax rolled off of me, but she went onto her side so she could continue to look at me. “Are you okay?” she asked. “It looks like you have a lot on your mind right now.”
You don’t know the half of it.
