Page 66 of Insolence
“Thank you.” She uncrosses her arms. Lets them fall to her sides. The way the moonlight silvers the angles of her beautifulface makes the back of my throat ache. “I also need you to answer my questions without dodging them.”
“Right,” I hesitate. “That’s ultimately what we’re working toward. Currently, there are things I can’t discuss. But if you can accept what answers I’m willing to give,whenI’m willing to give them—without being unreasonable—I can promise I’ll answer all of your questions, eventually.”
She glances away, mouthing the wordunreasonable. “And by ‘eventually,’ I’m assuming you mean when I can ‘regulate my emotions.’”
“Yes. Is that a good enough compromise for now?”
She shrugs. “I don’t exactly have another option, do I?”
As if I do?My lips press into a tight line.
Clocking my expression, she sighs. “It’s a fair compromise. I can agree to it. And just soyouknow, I never meant to be ‘unreasonable’ or to make you doubt my ability to control myself. But I feel like I’m going crazy half the time.”
“Try the breathing thing,” I say. “When you start feeling overwhelmed—”
“I haveholesripped in myhead, Elodie.”
“So does everyone else, Tiss. So do I.”
“It’s not just that.” She fidgets, something strange passing over her face. “Iunderstandhow dangerous this place is, all right?”
I shift. “Yeah. Well. It gets worse than Rosalie.”
New fear splinters her aura. Abrupt. Black and viscous as fresh tar. “Iknowit does. I’ve just seen Kerrigan go after someone else.”
My pulse kicks up. “What did you say?”
Tiss takes an unsteady breath. Proceeds to tell me about an incident early this morning involving some initiate I’m not familiar with. Apparently the girl had a particularly brutal run-inwith Kerrigan before anyone else was up. Well, aside from Ailen, it seems.
Whatever caused it, I’m revolted but not exactly surprised. I’ve seen similar. Heard about worse.
My concern at this particular juncture is the way Tiss shakes while she relays what she saw. Voice cracking, she barely speaks above a whisper.
“She was lying so still on the floor, I thought she might bedead,” she concludes. Glances around, flighty as a bird. “Kerrigan hauled her away like a slaughtered animal.” Finally, her eyes press closed, a tear streaking down her cheek.
My gaze keeps straying to her trembling lips. My fingers itch to cup her face, to comfort her somehow. “Goddess. I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“Thank you for listening.” The tension in her shoulders relaxes incrementally.
I have to halt the impulse to brush the tear away. Force myself to look elsewhere.
Fuck. Her irresistible pheromones aside, I can already tell I’m going to be at my most vulnerable when she’s upset or in need like this.
I shouldnotbe this enamored of a woman I don’t know.
Get it together, Elodie.I must build a wall. Keep her out as long as possible.
And here’s the entire miserable problem.She is a craving I cannot—willnot indulge.
And yet, a small part of me realizes ultimately, I’ve got no choice in the matter.
I shove that part as far away as I can.
“I'm really worried about her.” Tiss stares at the fountain. “I haven’t seen her all day, and I’ve been looking. I even asked Mother Deirdre about her, which she didn’t appreciate, I might add.”
“Hold on. When did you speak to Deirdre?”
“Before I came into the refectory.”
