Page 30 of Insolence
At the end of the hallway, she takes a right into our residence. Her lanky legs carry her halfway down the narrow perimeter hallway before I catch up.
She spins and backs up, carving what feels like a canyon between us. “What do you want, Tiss?” Her tone is as wooden as her casually noncommittal mask. “I’m pressed for time.”
Taken aback, I look around to confirm we’re alone in this part of the building. “Did I do something wrong?”
“I really can’t have this conversation right now.”
“Whatconversation?” Given the vast amounts of vulnerability and intimacy I experienced at her hands yesterday, this isn’t how I thought our next exchange would begin. “Are you angry with me?”
“Fine.” She closes her eyes, inhaling deeply. “Not here. Come on.” She jerks her chin in the direction of the Learning Annex.
Perplexed, I swallow past the lump in my throat and follow.
The air is dry and warm in the recently vacated classroom. The familiar beeswax scent of wood polish lingers earthy-sweet around us.
She turns as soon as the door clicks shut. “I need you to understand that I care for you, Tiss, I do. But what happened yesterday can’t happen again.”
“What? Why not?” Torn between irritation and heartache, I reach for her, craving some form of physical contact. Some small grain of comfort. “If you’re angry, please just say so.”
“No, it’s—” Our fingers brush, and she yanks her hand away. “This is my fault. I should have never let myself get so careless. Carried away. Which is why I’m ending this now.”
Each statement hits harder than the one that came before, punching through my chest and pummeling my heart to pulp. “I don’tunderstandyou. I can’t keep up. First you’re hostile, then you’re stoic or tender. Yesterday you were drawing me in, and today you’re shutting me out. What’ll it be tomorrow?”
“If I could change our situation, I would, but it’s notsafeto carry on like this. I should’ve never let my guard down to begin with.”
Frustration surges through me. I fumble to maintain my hold on my temper.
“Trust me when I say, I wish we were anywhere but here.”
And there it goes…Boiling hot rage scorches my veins. “No! Idon’ttrust you! Yesterday you felt safe enough to pin me against a wall. Get in my face. Tease me and provoke me like I’m a toy to be played with.”
“Tiss.”
“Disciplineme. Kiss me. Run your hands all over—”
“Tiss,stop.”
But I don’t stop. I can’t. “Not until you tell me why you’ve been so guarded. Something iswrong. What’s going on, Elodie?”
“I can’t fuckingcontrolmyself around you, all right?” she snaps, her grip on the emotionless mask apparently no firmer than mine on my temper. “Currently, I don’t know if I canrestrainmyself when you’re near. Is that what you want me to say?” Her jaw flexes, her tone lowering to a vicious murmur: “And just so you’re aware, if I had my way, I’d pick you up right now, throw you on that desk, and get my hands and mouth all over you. But I can’t, and Iwon’t.”
But she wants to. Very much, it seems. My mind goes blank in the wake of the unexpected confession.
“Do you know what pheromones are?”
“What?” I blink.
“Animals naturally produce chemical signals as a form of communication.”
“Andwhyare we now talking about animals?”
“Because some women produce them too. You happen to be one of them. When you get strongly aroused, your body emits pheromones to signal your interest. I can’t help but sense it the instant it happens, and there’s a similar…immediateeffect on me.”
I realize she’s telling me my arousal turns her on.
“It’s bad enough being around you with the things I already want to do…” Her voice goes coarse. “But when you start leaking pheromones everywhere, like you were during class— Hell, Tiss.” She scrubs her fingers over her face and scalp, loosening pieces of hair that fall, framing her angled cheekbones. The next time she looks at me, it’s with complete and utter abandon. “If I’m not very, very careful, Iwilllose control again.”
My stomach flips, and my face is immediately on fire. “We can be careful. We won’t get caught.”
