Page 158 of Insolence
When finished lighting incense and arranging candles, she invited me to sit. Every bit the stoic priestess, she folded her hands in her lap and regarded me. “How may I be of assistance, Lady Madoc?”
Suddenly I was eighteen andstarvingagain, desperate and yearning, my skin on fire. And to her, I was merely an eccentric noblewoman who’d just climbed a mountain for an off-season audience.
It’s impossible to overstate the cruelty of sitting with the woman I loved more than anything or anyone else, under the guise of a complete stranger.
Finding my voice, I unclasped my cloak with shaky fingers. “Something happened, Lady Elodie. I did… a terrible thing. Please believe me when I say I had to seek your audience right away. It couldn’t wait.”
A flicker of something I couldn’t quite parse crossed her features before she inhaled deeply, her eyes closing. “Yes, I cansee it. The goddess in her infinite wisdom has granted me a glimpse of your past.”
“Wait. I thought Eisha's priestesses only foretell future events.”
Eyes cracking open, she said, “Are you questioning the goddess’s gift?”
“No, I just—”
A finger went up, silencing me. “I can’t change or avoid that which is revealed to me. Now. Did you come for a reading or not?”
I hadn’t, but burning curiosity kept me quiet.
“You have forsaken your lover,” she stated, her glare cleaving me in two.
My head jerked back. “That isn’t fair.”
“You were loved deeply by someone with whom you share an intimate connection. An arcane link. Does this sound familiar?”
Every inch of me went hot and prickly.
“You left him. Youbetrayedhis love for you,” said the priestess with a righteous lift of her chin. “You ruined him with your callous heart.”
Sorrow swept me up like a maelstrom. I sputtered, “You canseeall of that?”
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
For a moment I floundered in shocked self-loathing. I didn’t knowwhatto expect trekking up here, but it certainly wasn’t this. “I didn’tbetrayy— anybody. I did what I had to for both of our safety. I didn’tknowhe’d be gone when I returned. I never imagined—”
Our soul-tie tore at me, pulsing and straining with something close to frenzy. It felt like an old friend. A long-lost lover returned from meandering at sea. It broke me and braced me at once.She had to feel it too. Right?
Taking a breath, I started at the beginning only to stumble through the explanation with tears in my eyes: “My husband and his father, they threatened my lover. This was years ago, but I overheard them on a handful of occasions plotting.
“My lover has a mutable soul, and they took great affront at having discovered our affair. We’d been quite discreet, so it boiled down to nothing more than their humiliation. Of course, few creatures are more vengeful than a disgraced man. As I’m sure you’re well aware, priestess. Amnesia or no.”
She let out a puff of air, ceding my point with a twitch of her fingers.
“They were angry. Insulted by our audacity. They wanted to be sure our affair ended for good lest theshamewe brought upon their silly clan be discovered. Illiam and Orum were planning to…conspiringto have him killed. There was talk of an ‘accident.’”
Elodie’s flinch was so slight, anybody else might have missed it.
“My father-in-law said, ‘Make it look convincing,’ and ‘It needs to be public.’ I wrote that down to be sure of what I heard. From context, I gathered thisaccidentwould have affected the family business.”
The priestess made a noise.
“I went to him and ended it, although it was the mostexcruciatingthing I’ve done in my short and highly destructive life.” I shook my head, my voice wavering. “I made sure I was followed by my husband’s men when I ended it. Donning a heavy black cloak on a summer’s day kept me in their sights.” I stopped and swallowed. Her ruthless gaze might as well have been diamond-honed with the way it cut me to pieces. “I made certain our farewell was overheard.”
“Go on,” she said, agate eyes flashing fire.
“I’ve done many a ruthless thing in my life, your holiness, but you must believe me when I say my callous heart tooknojoy inruininghim”—godsdammit. I very nearly made it through all of that without my voice breaking.
Unshed tears stinging my sinuses, half-blubbered words fell out of me: “I’d rather havediedthan leave willingly, but it was a matter of life and death. I had nochoicein the matter. But then, I’ve rarely enjoyed the luxury of choice in my lifetime. Not unless I’ve taken steps to ensure that I do. Guaranteed myself some semblance of autonomy in whatever way I can, even if there’s a risk it becomes the road I take to my own funeral.”
