Page 145 of Insolence
So long as we didn’t cause trouble. Make a scene. A slag like me needs to remember my place, after all.
But for a woman of her status to be married and carrying on with anyone, much less someone of her same sex, it’s beyond inappropriate. For her to be childless and dallying withme—bold as I am to strut about the city wearing men’s trousers and cropped hair? An insult of the highest order. To her husband’s family, as well as her father’s.
And they are very,verypowerful families.
The poor peregrine and her lost mate come to mind. A gradually realized horror threatens to splinter me, but I don’t yet know to what end. “Tiss, please. We talked about this.”
“No,youtalked about it. But it’s not realistic! Andthisisn’t working anymore.” She motions between us.
“Oh, come on.” I follow her into the kitchen. “If they’ve caught on, then we’ll leave. Just the two of us.” Catching up, I take her arm. Cup her face in my hand. “Go somewhere we can be together.”
“You keep coming back to that, but where could we possibly go? There’s nowhere in this realm or outside of it that would evade Orum’s reach forever—or my father’s—and youknowit.”
“There’s Ariter.”
She gives me a pitying look. “Which isfartoo close to Aronya Dar for my liking.”
“All the easier to get there from here, right?” My hands drop when she says nothing. “Can’t we discuss it for once? We could find Ma’s clan. Lay low for a while. Plan our next move. You always wanted to see the Boglands, right?”
“Sweetheart,” she sighs, ignoring my attempt at humor, “the decision’s already been made.”
“Wait. What decision?”
“I found out yesterday morning. I came as soon as I could get away.”
“Whatdecision,Tiss?” The room spins and my knees buckle. Blood pressure plummeting, I slam my hands onto the kitchen table with a grunt.
Fuck.I did too much after what she took from me. Combined with the unbearable possibility of what she’s saying, I’m suddenly fighting for air. “Please,” I choke. “Please don’t do this. Don’t end it.”
She moves closer. Smooths a hand down my spine. “Illiam and I will be traveling for a long while.”
Tears roll down my face, landing on the table in fat drops. “What does that mean? Traveling where?”
“To his family in Cantana, then to Nehel for a time. On to Black City from there. Afterward I’m not sure.”
“That’s the whole damnrealm.” I tally the math, figuring she’ll be gone for six months at least, with a trek like that and time at court in Cantana to boot.Gods. Possibly a year.
Hands bracing me, I watch my own tears spatter the rough-hewn wood. “When are you leaving?”Plat-plat-plat.
“I have no idea. You know I’ve fallen out of favor with Madoc and Jedrek, both. I’m barely in the loop as it is. But I’d hazard to say quite soon, with the hullabaloo of packing going on at my house.”
A spark of hope kindles. I wipe my cheeks and straighten. “You’ll be passing back through on your way to Nehel. We could meet in secret. Give me a chance to put a plan in place. By the time you get back, I’ll have sent word to Ma’s people—”
“El—”
“Listen! I’ll have our route mapped out. Supplies packed. Everything will be set. Send word when you return, and we’ll leave that same night.”
“I’m afraid it’s impossible.” She slowly shakes her head.
Impossible?Ice floods my veins at the sorrow dumping down our link, streaming into me. Tearing at the corners of my mind.
“I’ll be closely watched. It’s been made abundantly clear the extent of impropriety I’ve committed byassociatingwith you.” She scoffs. “It’s ridiculous. They can’t even put words to it.”
Our affair, she means.
She and Illiam were betrothed a month after her birth but never got to know each other until after they were wed. Not exactly a love match.
She and I fell in love long before her marriage was finalized. The tie we share is so deeply rooted, so intimate, the wordaffairseems a meager, shameful thing for something more precious to me than life itself.
