Page 137 of Insolence
Tiss doesn’t acknowledge the farewell. Blue eyes trained on me, uninhibited wrath burns within their depths. Anger throbs around her like a fever. Buzzes along our bond, piercing me like a bolt to the heart.
The heavy door slams shut on squealing hinges. At long last, we’re alone.
Chapter 41
Itissa
The rage is untempered and all-consuming. Powerful. Pure in its simplicity.
So much of it comes on so quickly, the monster inside of me rouses.
“I take it Ghisele said or did something to upset you?” Elodie’s tone is infuriatingly mild, the unfeeling mask firmly in place.
Willing my feet to stay planted, I understand that much like strong arousal, anger of this intensity makes me vulnerable. It puts me at risk of losing control.
But I’m alsotired. So very weary and wary of Elodie’s secrets—of demands that are starting to feel like emotional manipulation.
I want to give into the beastly rage more than anything. To become a tempest and scream and rush at her.But what if I black out or hurt her or myself again?
The air collapses from my lungs. As little as I trust her at this moment, surprisingly, I trust myself less. I hate what I become when I can’t regulate my emotions.
I drag in a breath so full I’m amazed my chest doesn’t split apart. It releases with a gasp.No more. I won’t lose myself this time—I can’t.I pull in another, letting my eyes close and my belly expand, seeking out the calm, dark place within me.
Although I don’t quite know who I am, by now I certainly know what I’m not. And I refuse to continue being a wounded, paranoid, temperamental bitch who makes myself and other people ill.
Not for Elodie’s sake. Not because of boundaries or “deals” or praise.No.When I get a handle on myself, which I will, it’ll be for me and me alone.
“You all right, Tiss?”
“I will be,” I whisper through tight lips.
She says nothing. Does nothing. She simply waits, giving me the time and space I need.
In the darkness behind my eyelids, I stumble and grope for unaccounted seconds. Desperation sharpens my focus, fear honing it like a blade.There.
Our glowing connection rises before me.
It’s a mere filament. A long and lonely strand. It’s practically nothing, and yet, in this moment, it is everything. Willing my predator with its snapping jaws and razor claws torelax for two damn seconds, I focus on the energy humming along it.
Breathe in. Breathe out. In. And out.
Miraculously, the outrage ebbs. My beast backs off, its frenzy less acute. Soon, a sense of peaceful quiet trickles through me, releasing my tight muscles and soothing nerves stretched way too far.
Elodie is leaning against the desk, watching me carefully when my eyes open again. For once, her scrutiny feels closer to caring than cold judgment.
“Better now?” Her face softens when I nod, and warmth careens into my torso. It’s from her. “Good. Now. Can you please explain what that was all about?”
“Enid overheard what Maida said to you. About a ‘Succubus and her Thrall,’ apparently in reference to you and me. Ghisele ambushed me with it just before the fireworks.”
Elodie’s hand goes up. Blinking several times, she slowly rubs her forehead. “And do you know what any of that means?”
“No. Well, I know the definition ofthrall, but what is a Succubus?”
“Ghisele didn’t tell you?”
“A dark, unnatural force. She accused you of using dark magic to compel me. Of making me your Thrall.”
“Goddess.” Her expression cracks, her chuckle ironic. “If she had two more brain cells at her disposal, shemightactually be dangerous.”
