Page 124 of Insolence
Cordelia and I join the throng, and I quickly lose sight of Lydia’s glossy, dark head.
“I’m going to find Sadrie.” Cordelia turns to me. “Find us outside if you’d like!”
I watch until she falls out of sight, swallowed by the crowd.
Chapter 37
Itissa
Instead of following everyone outside, something makes me linger in the atrium.
Finally alone with my thoughts, I circle the fountain with my hand trailing in the water. The humid air is perfumed with flowers and adorned with cozy lantern glow and birdsong.
Soft fingers graze my forearm, sliding down to catch my wrist. I give a strangled squeak, even as cedar and amber crowd my senses. Fingers dripping, I spin to meet Elodie’s hooded gaze, her lovely face now maskless.
“Still want me to guide you through setting your wards?”
“Please.” Swallowing my nerves, I trail her down the hallway toward the handmaidens’ quarters. She leads me to the window seat in the alcove, pulling me gently down next to her on the cushion. The building seems otherwise deserted.
“We can’t be long, or we’ll be missed. But we should be able to practice a little while at least.” Her voice is low and rich. “The breathing exercise we practiced before is the foundation upon which you’ll build your wards. Close your eyes, and let’s try connecting to each other.” She holds her hands out, and I squeeze her fingers in mine.
Like last time, I focus on her breath, her heat. It takes a moment to silence the never-ending barrage of thoughts in my head, but as I open myself to the glowing connection between us, everything else gradually falls away.
When I’m able to find the quiet, dark place inside of me, our shared bond comes into focus, glowing with preternatural radiance. There’s more to it now, or perhaps I’m simply perceiving more.
Two spheres of golden energy materialize. Surrounding both of us, they’re feeding the glowing tether stretching between us.Our auras. They must be.
That’s when a great chasm opens in front of me. Within its depths lie feelings I’m too scared to name and too ignorant to run from. Holding my breath, I will myself to cross it, to give myself over to this confounding woman who actuallyseesme, who seems to know me in far more intimate ways than I know myself.
My eyes might be closed at the moment, but things couldn’t be more clear.
She is my lighthouse, my safe haven in the swirling storm of insanity that seeks to swallow me whole from time to time. Somehow, I’m positive that no matter what happens, she’ll save me from my own delirium so long as I can let her in.
Our auras mingle and coalesce. In an instant, I feel so utterly connected to her, I tremble with the intensity of it.
My muscles loosen, my shoulders drop, and my jaw unclenches. I feel trulyrelaxedfor the first time since before I can remember. When my eyes open again, she’s gazing back at me with what can only be called adoration brimming in her gaze.
“That was perfect, Tiss,” she murmurs, reaching behind my head to untie the ribbon holding my mask in place. “It was different this time, wasn’t it?”
“Easier, yes,” I say, my heart close to bursting.
“Practice and trust tend to have that effect.” She hands me the loose mask. “When we’re both calm and feeling connected to each other, our auras have the ability to interweave.”
“I think that’s what I felt just now. Or something close to it.”
“The very fabric of our essences must be entwined in order for you to build strong enough wards to contain that monster of yours.” She shifts, placing warm fingers beneath my chin and lifting until our lips nearly touch. “I see how hard you’ve been working. Dedicating yourself to your studies. Managing your emotions. You’ve been practicing your breathing, haven’t you?”
Unexpected tears prick my eyes when I nod.
“You deserve so much praise, Tiss. So much pleasure.”
Her outpouring of approval takes me aback. “Thank you,” I say, my voice cracking. “I’ve been trying.”
Without thinking, I eliminate the scant distance between us, pulling her to me with all the greediness I’ve been keeping in check and letting my mask slip to the floor.
She wraps one arm around my waist, her other hand cradling the back of my head while she kisses me back with abandon, as if she’s been wanting and waiting to kiss me all of her life. She kisses me until I’m sagging against her, mush in her arms. Ready to melt.
Gently, she pries herself away to stand. Brushing soft lips against my knuckles, her steady gaze is making me weak. “Goddess, Tiss, I want to taste your sweet cunt so much; it’s the only thing I’ve thought about all night.”
