Page 123 of Dare to Hold
I manage a half-smile, though it feels thin.
Micah pushes the clipboard aside and nods toward the chair across from him. “Sit down, man. Whatever’s eating you, we’ll figure it out.”
I sit, elbows on my knees, trying to find the words. “I messed up, man. With Ivy.”
Micah doesn’t flinch. “How bad are we talking?”
“I don’t know. Breakfast started fine, but then I told her I have been thinking about our future. That she’s my person. Basically almost proposed over pancakes.”
Micah lets out a low whistle. “Wow. You really swung for the fences.”
“She didn’t say no,” I add quickly. “But she didn’t really say anything either. And then I brought up baptism.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “Bold move.”
“She’s been going to church, reading her Bible, having conversations about God. It didn’t feel that crazy to ask.”
Micah’s brows knit, his voice gentler than his expression. “Gray…has she even given her life to Christ yet?”
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. My silence is its own answer.
Micah exhales, leaning back in his chair, arms folded. “Bro, baptism isn’t the first step. Salvation is. Surrendering her heart to Jesus has to come before any outward symbol. Otherwise it’s just getting wet.”
I drag a hand down my face, heat creeping up my neck. He’s right, and I hate that he’s right.
“And what’d she say?” Micah asks finally.
“She shut it down. Flat-out no. Wouldn’t even consider it.”
There’s a long pause.
“And that bothered you.”
I nod, jaw tight. “It wrecked me.”
Micah doesn’t speak right away. When he does, his voice is low. Careful. “Gray, you know I love you. But man...sometimes you hold people to a standard they haven’t even agreed to yet.”
I bristle, straightening. “I just want her to grow. To see what life could be like when it’s centered on something real.”
“I get that,” Micah says. “But let me ask you something, and I need you to really hear this, is your hope that she falls more in love with Jesus…or more in line with you?”
I blink. “What’s the difference?”
Micah’s tone sharpens. “The difference is control. You don’t mean to, but you want to control the pace. Her faith. The outcome. Maybe even her.”
The words hit harder than I want to admit.
“I’m not trying to control her,” I say, defensively. “I just—I've been through this before. I don’t want to watch someone drift because I didn’t speak up.”
Micah exhales slowly. “And maybe you did need to saysomething. But Gray, you can’t push her over the finish line. That’s not how faith works. And it’s not how love works, either.”
I look away, throat tight.
“Just...give her time,” Micah says more gently. “And trust that the God who saved you is more than capable of doing the same for her. Without you forcing His hand.”
I stand, a little too quickly. “Yeah. Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
Micah watches me for a beat. “You don’t sound like you believe it.”
