Page 174 of Flameborne: Chosen
But then he spoke to me and at his serious tone they all went quiet, listening.
“Bren, before anything happened here at the stables tonight, we had already made a plan to speak with you about the events earlier. We realized that our usual kind of joking and play might feelthreateningfor you. We made a pact that none of us would touch you again without your permission. And if we had a need to tease, we’d make sure it couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.”
I swallowed. “It’s fine, I shouldn’t have—”
“Let me finish,” Ronen said gently. I swallowed my protest back. He smiled. “You need to know for certain that our intention for you—and for each other—isalwaysto protect and help. We were already going to speak to you about that, and vow our help. But events tonight made it clear even more is needed than reassurance. While we were handling Faren, we discussed the whole picture for you. The ways this life is different for you—and the ways itshouldbe different for us as a result.”
I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that. I wanted to belessnoticeable. Not more.
But Ronen continued. “Tonight you had to face someone alone who was strong enough to overpower you. None of us are used to the idea that a single man could hold us against our will. If any one of us were inyourshoes, we’d want more protection—”
“You don’t have to do that!” I rushed in. “I don’t want to makemorework for you!”
Ronen gave me a look and I shut my mouth. “We didn’t say you’d asked for it. We said if we were in your position, we’d want help. And that means we all want to help you.”
My brothers were all nodding, looking thoughtful. I wanted to weep. They were so kind. But here I was, yet again, being a burden.
“From now on, every night we aren’t all on patrol, one of us will sleep in the stable with our dragon so we can hear if there’s any kind of disturbance. If you need help, Akhane can call our dragon. Or you can just scream.” It should have been a joke, but it wasn’t. I had to turn my thoughts away from the memory of the ugly sneer on Faren’s face.
“That’s so thoughtful, but you’re all working so hard—”
“Every night, Bren.”
I was horrified. “I can’t ask you to do that!”
“You aren’t. We insist. None of us wants to walk in on the General having to beat a man senseless because he attacked you. And, well, it’s clear that you aren’t entirely safe here. It pains me to say that, but we’ve now had it proven to us more than once. We might be slow learners, but we aren’t stupid.”
“But—”
“If it was me, would you do it?” Harle asked.
I met his bald gaze. “Yes, of course, but—”
“Then don’t question that we’ll do the same.”
“This is why one of the Furyknight’s tenets is humility, Bren—humility to be willing to serve, and humility to accept the service of others,” Ronen said pointedly.
I couldn’t help the tears that blurred my vision, but I blinked and wiped them away as quickly as I could.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for crying all the time.”
“You’ve been carrying a lot for a long time, Bren,” Gil said quietly, staring at me intently. “Seems like maybe that’s why God brought you here, so we could share some of the burden.”
I was touched. “Thank you,” I breathed.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you got scared,” he said simply. “I’ll listen next time.”
“It’s fine, I knew—”
“No, Bren. Please.Stopsaying things are well when they aren’t,” Ronen said, frustrated, though he stayed calm. “We all discussed it. The risk isn’t only that we might scare you, or you might need protection, but also that others here won’t understand. So, from now on, we want you to have a signal. A word you can say when you feel uncomfortable or afraid. Somethingweknow isn’t part of play. But no one else will know. If you say it, we’ll know you need to be treated with care—or taken away from whoever’s nearby.”
“A safeword,” Gil suggested—then went still when a couple of the others stared at him, though I didn’t know why.
I put a hand to my chest, touched by their thoughtfulness. Ironically, the first word that came to mind wasRuin.But his name would raise questions, and besides, it was also a word I might use innocently. But I had always joked with Ruin that his bright blue eyes were the color of one of the tiny wildflowers in the fields. And they’d always reminded me of him…
“How aboutRueflower?”I said softly. “If I ever say Rueflower, or use it in a sentence, it will mean there’s a problem and I need help.”
Ronen looked around the circle and they all nodded.
