Page 48 of Best Man
The door opens, and I sway before regaining my balance.
“That’s the trouble, Zeb,” he says icily. “You’re talking to me like an adult to a child. I’m twenty-four. I’m an adult too, but I’ll never be one in your eyes because you categorised me three years ago and filed me in the wrong fucking place. But you’re too stubborn to admit that you made a mistake, so here I am. Still on your shelf with the wrong label.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t,” he scoffs.
“But I was rude,” I persist diligently. “I just panicked.”
He laughs, and there is none of the usual rich humour about it. It sounds horrible. “Why the fuck would you panic, Zeb? We slept together. That’s it. Panic should be reserved for running away from tornados or erupting volcanos. Not sleeping with the office joke who will be forgotten as soon as he leaves.”
“Where the hell did that come from?” I say angrily as he marches towards the door, grabbing an amber-coloured jacket as he goes. “No, you wait a fucking minute. You’re not going to be forgotten like that and who the fuck ever called you the office joke? Wait, where are you going?”
I follow him into the hall and he whirls to face me. “I am going tobreakfast.Alone,” he says as I open my mouth. “I don’t want to speak to you for a while, Zeb, because I’ve just realised that you’re a bit of a fucking cunt.” The door slams behind me and his mouth quirks. “And you’re going to be super busy soon anyway. You’re in the corridor naked apart from a sheet, and now you’re locked out of our room.” He shrugs. “Still, as you’re such a fucking grown-up, I’m sure you’ve got a spare key somewhere on your person. See you later.”
He gives me a casual wave of his hand and disappears down the stairs. A door opens behind me and I turn and sigh. “Oh, of course it would be you.”
“Good morning, Zeb,” Nina says icily. “Nice to see you taking your messy private life onto the hotel corridors.”
“Fuck my life,” I groan and bang my head against the locked door. It hurts and maybe it should.
JESSE
I make my way quickly downstairs and out towards the lake. I need to be outside where I can pace and try and get rid of this tight feeling in my chest. My eyes feel hot, and I rub them briskly until the moisture goes away. I knew this was going to happen. I bloody knew it. So why did I do it? I shake my head. Because I want him. I want him all the fucking time and that was my chance to have him.
I rest my back against a tree and look out over the lake. A storm is threatening and the sky is a heavy golden-grey colour, infusing everything with that strange glaze. The water reflects the sky back, making it look somehow magical like a portal into fairy land. I bite my lip. If I had the chance, I’d fuck off to fairy land straightaway. Never mind the enchanted food and drink. Just the chance not to have to face Zeb would have me signing up for wings and a wand.
I pull my coat around me because it’s noticeably cooler now and tap my fingers on my knee, hooking my nail into the slight rip there and tugging on the loose fibre. It unravels slightly and a bigger hole appears in the denim. Sort of appropriate for the way I feel this morning.
Voices sound in the distance and I push myself closer to the tree. Idon’t want to talk to anyone at the moment. But then equally, I sort of do. I want to talk inanities so I can push away the look on Zeb’s face when he woke up this morning in bed with me. The shock and shame were written all over him, and, for a minute, I’d wanted to shrivel up and die. Was he wishing I was Patrick or just wishing I was anyone but me? The thought makes bile rise in my throat. I’d gone to sleep so happy wrapped around him, and to be cast aside like this is startling.
My phone vibrates, and when I look down I can see a message from Zeb. Actually, I can see five messages from him. I wonder if he’s managed to get back into the room without embarrassment. I hope he hasn’t.
Having the phone in my hand, though, reminds me that there is one person I can always talk to, and I pull up his contact details. The ring tone sounds and then the call connects, and I hear the lovely Welsh tones of my best friend.
“Jess?” he says. I can hear what sounds like cutlery and the radio in the background, so he and his boyfriend are probably having breakfast.
“So, hypothetically if I’d gone away for the week with my boss to pretend to be his boyfriend and ended up sleeping with him and then falling for him, would you say that was wise?” I say in a jumble of words.
There’s a long silence. “And how hypothetical would that be?” he says slowly.
I hum contemplatively. “Yeah, no, not at all hypothetical now that I come to think about it.”
There’s a longer silence and when he speaks next, he sounds incredulous. “Your boss being Zeb?” His voice goes high. “Oh myGod,you fucked Zeb.”
“Yep,” I say glumly. “And it was bloody amazing, but I think he’s still in love with his ex and his ex is definitely in love with him, but he’s committed to marrying this woman so he can have children and please his parents and so he wants Zeb for a bit on the side.”
“Have you wandered onto the set ofDownton Abbeyand just not realized?”
I snort out a laugh. “Eli,” I say in a warning voice.
“Well, sorry but really?” He pauses. “And you fucked Zeb and it was brilliant?”
“The skies opened and the angels wept.”
“Zeb?”he says again.
“Yes,” I say crossly. “Zeb. You seem rather stuck on that one point. What about the incredible mess I’ve made of my life?”
