Page 28 of Best Man
“Ouch,” I mutter.
“Behave,” he says tightly.
“I can’t promise anything if you happen to move that hand a couple of inches up.”
“A couple ofinches? You’ve got a comfortable self-image.”
I shrug. “I work with what I’ve got.”
A waiter inserts himself between us to position tiny plates before us. Each plate has a piece of meat on it with an inch of sauce curled round it. Zeb’s hand falls away. I look down at the plate gloomily. “Isthis it?” I ask sadly, and the waiter snorts before resuming his stately procession down the table.
Zeb looks at me and his mouth quirks. “I’d say that was a mouthful,” he mutters. “For someone who hasn’t got a mouth the size of yours.”
“Zeb, I am a growing boy. I’m hoping they serve more food than this over the next few days or you’ll have to take me to hospital for a drip.”
“You’re exceedingly dramatic,” he intones. “I’m guessing it’s because you’re the youngest of eight children. You must have had to work very hard for your voice to be heard.”
“Not really,” I mutter, downing my starter in one sad bite. “It was never a problem.”
“Quelle surprise.”
I nudge him. “I like a man who’s lingual.”
He stares at me. “I have never met anyone who manages to turn such an innocent sentence so dirty.”
“So.” Nina’s voice cuts through our quiet talk. “This is your latest, then, Zebadiah?”
He turns to her, and my heart clenches as he smiles kindly at her. “He is. This is Jesse.”
She grimaces. “Of course it is.”
My eyes narrow at her.Old cow.
She looks me up and down as if I’m a piece of dog shit he’s managed to bring in with him. “He’s very young. But I don’t know why that should surprise me. You obviously like them that way.”
“But surely the whole world is younger than you,” I mutter. Zeb lowers that hand to my knee and squeezes again, but I ignore him in favour of smiling coldly at the woman.
“I beg your pardon,” she says in a low voice.
I lean forward. “I said how young you look,” I say in a clear, loud voice, like I’m talking to someone deaf.
She glares at me but turns back to Zeb. “Did I say how glad I was that you and Patrick split up?”
“Quite a few times,” Zeb says wryly, and I snort.
She looks at me again. “This man is a serial predator. I’d get away from him if I were you.”
I inhale sharply, feeling rage sear me as Zeb stiffens all over.
“Nina,” her husband says in a resigned voice.
I lean forward and smile sweetly at her. “Predator, eh? The last time I heard that used was onPlanet Earth.” I tap my finger on the table. “Is this a dinner-party game? Are we naming the animal that’s most like us as people? If we are, I’m trying to think what animal is most like a rude and excessively bad-mannered woman.”
She breathes in sharply, rage clouding her face. “I have never been so insulted.”
“You do surprise me,” I say sweetly.
I think it’s only the fact that the waiters start to clear the table that saves me from total annihilation. I shoot a quick glance at Zeb who is staring hard at me with an inscrutable look on his face that doesn’t promise good things.Something to look forward to,I muse gloomily. My gloom intensifies as a plate with more small food is placed before me.
