Page 13 of Best Man
He shrugs. “We each have to make the best of our own pluses and minuses.” He grimaces. “The problem is that you’re too intimidating.”
I draw back, stung. “I am not.”
“I don’t mean personally,” he says, shaking his head in exasperation. “I mean you’re very organised and thorough and somehow people feel a lot less when they’re with you. Some of the customers are already feeling that when they come to us. Try explaining to a hot as fuck man who has his own business and wears bespoke suits made on Savile Row that you need to hire someone to be your boyfriend for an office do.” He holds his hand up when I open my mouth to protest. “I know you’re kind and so do they after a bit, but it’s not easy to confide what you see as a failure to someone who looks like they’ve only had sunny days. Impressions are everything.” I stare at him and he smiles. “Just think about it.”
“I will.” I grimace. “God help me, but you do sometimes give good advice and I usually end up taking it.”
“Hope you do with this last bit, then,” he says cheerfully.
“Oh no,” I groan, covering my face. “I knew you hadn’t dropped it.”
“Oh yes. You’re going away with a fucking gorgeous bloke. If you get the chance, I want you to do what comes naturally.”
“You want me to organise my paperwork and colour code the filing cabinet?”
He shakes his head. “You’re hopeless.”
“I’m realistic. Have you actually seen Jesse?”
“Seen and salivated over. Yes.”
“Well, you know how he is.” He gazes at me and I shake my head in exasperation. “He’s twenty years younger than me, as fickle as the weather, and a total walking disaster.”
He looks at me for a long second and a mysterious smile crosses his face. “One day you’re going to listen when I talk to you. And when you realise that, you’re going to apologise for thinking I talk a load of crap every day and know far too much gossip.”
“I have no idea what is happening at the moment,” I mutter.
“Just at the moment?” he says tartly and then seems to relent. “Jesse is actually a lot of things besides gorgeous. He’s also smart and, most importantly, he’s very kind.” I stare at him, and he nods. “You know he is. You said it yourself the other day. Half the messes he ends up in are because he cares about people and he goes two steps further than anyone else to help them. He’s never met a stranger, he’s sociable, and genuinely interested in people. He’s like a throwback to olden times. He should be inMiss Marple.”
“Hopefully not as a dead body,” I grumble. “But he’d be in the midst of it if he was. He’s flippant and like a fucking butterfly.”
“He’s funny and he has a conscience,” he corrects me. “I’m sure you already know this, but it’s easier for you to pretend in your head that he’s stupid.”
“Why is it easier?”
He settles back in his chair and eyes me like I’m appearing before him in court. “Because you fancy him,” he says calmly.
“I fucking do not,” I start to splutter, and he holds up his hand. To my chagrin I immediately stop talking.
“You do, Zeb. You always have. Right from the first moment youmet him I saw the sparks, and you’ve always been so protective of him.” He stands up. “I saw other things too.”
“What?” I say reluctantly.
“He fancies you too.” I close my mouth with an audible snap, and he smiles. “That’s me done.”
“I feel like getting on my knees and offering thanks.”
“Try getting on your knees and offering the gorgeous Jesse a nice blowjob.”
“Oh my God, I’m old enough to be his father.”
“He’s twenty-four, not a teenager, and what you don’t know about him would fill a football stadium.”
I stare at him. “And just what does that mean?”
“It means you should seriously consider doing him.”
“Doing him. What a delightful turn of phrase you have. Have you gone throughanyworkplace training? He’s my employee, in case you’ve forgotten.”
