Page 50 of Charlie Sunshine
“It’s not that easy. I have been trying.”
“Well, what about Paul?”
I look disdainfully at him. “He has a unibrow.”
He blinks. “Martin, then. He’s lovely and single.”
“He’s single because he’s married to his mother, and she repels all newcomers.”
“Edward Sampson?”
“Are you serious? He’s boring as hell and so pompous.”
“Okay,” he says triumphantly. “What about Luke? He’s lovely. Bloody hell, if I were gay, I’d date him.”
I scoff. “No. He’s got those… those teeth.”
There’s a long pause as Rupert stares at me and I try not to wriggle. “Hmm, teeth. Tell me, Misha, is having teeth a deal-breaker for Charlie?”
“Take the piss all you like, but when Luke gets close, it looks like he’s going to eat you.”
He watches me, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. His expression is placid, and my attention sharpens. It’s never a reassuring sign with Rupert. For all his affability, he’s very astute.
“Well, how about Misha?” he says.
“Misha, who? We don’t know any other Mishas, and I’m sure that—” I pause. “Oh, very funny.”
He leans forward and taps the desk. “Think about it. He likes old reruns ofBlackadder, and so does Charlie. He loves Thai food, and so does Charlie. Misha and Charlie love dancing in clubs and going to the cinema. They’re both laidback and funny. In fact, I pretty much think they share one mind between two bodies because they’re so alike.”
“We are nothing alike. He’s got the shininess of a new two-pound coin. I’m far more cynical.”
“You’re alike enough to fill in the gaps with each other. The best partnerships are like that.”
“I don’t think–” I start to say loftily.
He blows a raspberry. “Don’t even go there, Misha Lebedinsky.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was in the same room with you the other day, and I saw the way you were looking at Charlie.”
“Like a great friend,” I say primly.
“No, like a dog eyeing a steak.”
I throw my hands up. “I can’t talk to you when you’re chatting shit.”
“You mean when I’m telling the truth?” He looks at me levelly, unaffected by my slight temper tantrum. I blow out a huge sigh, scrubbing my hands down my face.
“Fuck,” I mutter. He settles back in his chair. “Okay, I know I’m looking at him like he’s the last twink on the menu, but it’s a momentary madness.” The words pour out of me with a certain wildness. “I’veneverlooked at Charlie like this. In all my life he’s been my best friend, and that’s it. Nothing else. What the fuck is the matter with me?”
“I personally think it started when you had that row over Harry,” he says, folding his hands over his stomach. “Or maybe back when he started going out with Harry.”
“What?”
“It threw you completely, Misha. You can deny it all you want, but you were off your game for ages when Harry asked him out. Then you had that huge row with Charlie, and you were desperate to talk to him. It made a tiny part of your brain wake up to what it would be like without him.”
He looks contemplatively at me, and I flush. This is so personal, and I don’t do this sort of conversation unless Charlie forces me. However, Rupert is talking about Charlie and me like he knows a big secret, and I’m desperate enough to stay silent.
