Page 29 of Three Bossy Boyfriends
“You should probably use more lube then,” Harrison’s dad, Bill, jokes from where he’s pulling a platter of fruit from the fridge.
Everyone in the kitchen freezes for a second. Then they all burst into laughter.
“Dad, for fuck’s sake,” Harrison says. “You can’t just say out loud every thought that pops into your head.”
“I’ve earned the right,” Bill insists. “And it was funny.”
“Maybe stick to standard dad jokes,” his wife, Daphne, tells him.
I shake my head and lift my glass of wine.
Our families are unfiltered at the best of times, pretty inappropriate at the worst of times.
It sounds so incredibly stupid to say, but my parents are actually disappointed they don’t have a gay child because they claim they would be the best ally parents ever.
I have to admit they are pretty cool about all of the various relationships and the living situation that my brother has found himself in. But I guess when they first revealed that Harrison and Ford were both in love with Ivy and were going to live as a quadruple with her and Liam, our dads were hopeful that meant Ford had decided he and Harrison were in love as well.
“You’re going to run Hunter off,” Harrison’s grandfather, Sam, says as he comes into the kitchen to grab another beer from the cooler by the back door.
“This is how we decide if Hunter gets to stay around,” my dad says. “If he can’t take the way we talk and joke, then he’s not going to fit in here at all.”
He’s got a point. And Hunter does seem a little uptight, so I’m interested to see how he handles the family dinner. He and Frannie have only been officially dating for a few months, but I guess he’s been hanging around for a while and become a regular at the restaurant. If he’s hung out at Raw, he’s gotten used to Harrison, Ford, Liam, and Ivy. He’s probably talked to our fathers and Grandpa Sam as well, but they do behave at least a little bit when they’re in public compared to how they are at home.
“Fiona gonna bring a guy home soon?” Bill asks my dad.
“Hope so. Gotta get them all hooked up.”
I lift a brow, waiting for Bill to ask me about my love life.
“I love having all the extras around,” Bill says. “Love that the table gets more and more crowded.”
But he doesn’t even glance in my direction.
“And then they’ll start on kids,” my dad says.
“Yes!” Bill agrees enthusiastically. “Harrison and Ford will be amazing dads.”
Wow, they’ve got my brother reproducing and they haven’t even asked if I’m dating anyone?
I’ve been gone for a few years, but I’m notgone. Have they written me off or just forgotten me? Or maybe they just assume I’ll never fall in love. Which is fair. Love seems like a lot of work.
But I could handle dating for real. After Evan and I are done with this…thing.
I mean, look at me. I’m lusting after three different men as we speak. Clearly I’m not ready to settle down, but I’m definitelyready to bring a guy—or two—to dinner. If my dad wants to joke about sex, I wouldloveto have Christopher sitting here trying to be all buttoned up and professional while thinking about the dirty things he and Evan and I got up to the night before…
Fiona walks in, carrying flowers and macarons.
“Fiona, when are you going to fall in love?” Bill asks her without even saying hello.
“Maybe I should tell the person I’ve got a crush on that I like them first,” she says.
Bill yells to the house, “Fiona’s in love!”
She just laughs.
I chug the rest of my wine. And continue sitting—literally in the corner, forgotten.
Until the doorbell rings.
