Page 4 of All That We Keep
Blake
I still feel a little clammy even after the hot shower I took in the executive bathroom and the pasta that Maceo all but force-fed me thirty minutes ago. My skin feels wrong, waves of heat and bitter cold alternating through me. The shower helped for maybe ten minutes before the sweating started again, and now my shirt is already sticking to my back despite being fresh from my office closet.
The only good thing is that we’re leaving.
As much as I wanted to get everything done this morning, I just want to curl up with Luca in our nest and pass the fuck out. Unfortunately, packing up takes just as much energy as standing up in the shower did.
This is ridiculous. I'm not even doing anything strenuous, but my body is acting like I've been running marathons.
Looking back at Maceo, I try to read his expression for any clues about what's really happening here. He's standing by the door with his arms folded across his chest, looking for all the world like he's guarding the entrance to my office. I just don’t knowwhyhe would be guarding my office. The building is pretty secure for the most part. No one will tell me what’s going on. Just that we’re leaving.
I stuff another pad of papers into my bag and then twist around to see Luca still passed out in his nest, his soft snores absolutely adorable, tempting me to go curl up with him. I find myself checking in with him often, needing to know that he’s okay, that he’s still here with me, that he’s all mine.Ours.
And every time, I let out a little sigh of relief, the anxiety in my chest falling away until it bubbles again.
I zip up my bag and chuck it on my desk before turning to Maceo. "Where is Luther?" I don’t like him being gone. I also don’t like feeling needy like this. “Is he with Ward?” I lean against the desk and start airing out my shirt, the sweat clinging to my skin making this all worse. I almost wish I was going into heat at this point.
Maceo smiles from his position by the door, the expression patient but tinged with concern that he's trying to hide from me. "I told you before that he's grabbing a few things from the house and we're going to stay somewhere else for a little bit."
The words don't make complete sense to me, even though I know he explained this earlier. Another wave of dizziness washes over me as the room tilts slightly before righting itself again. "Where is Grayson?"
Maceo tilts his head, staring at me with confusion creasing his features. I'm just trying to get my bearings here, trying to make sense of what's happening and why everything feels so disjointed and strange. My thoughts keep slipping away from me and Ican't seem to hold onto the thread of what we're supposed to be doing.
Maceo moves closer before gently picking me up and setting me on the edge of my desk. He pushes forward between my thighs, his hands moving to cup my cheeks. The contrast of his colder skin is a welcome relief that I lean into, my lids falling closed as he speaks, the baritone of his voice rumbling through me. "Genius, I need you to take a few breaths for me. Whatever is going on with you is not going to get better by you trying to control the situation."
I nod, a small hum filtering through my lips before I tilt my head to the side to check on Luca again, needing the visual confirmation that he's still there and still safe. The need to see him is almost compulsive, like something terrible will happen if I don't keep him in my line of sight. I let out a little sigh, content for another few moments.
Maceo laughs softly as he steps closer, blocking my line of sight. It should be comforting having my Beta this close to me, his scent wrapping around me, but it’s almost terrifying that I can’t see Luca anymore. I whimper, my body struggling with the idea that I can’t protect my Omega all of a sudden. I know it’s not true but…
My Beta’s purr starts up, the sound rumbling through me until I all but fall forward, my forehead against his chest. He holds me like that for several seconds, my shoulders sagging in defeat before he breaks the near silence. “Blake, look at me. Luca is fine. He's here, he's breathing, and he'll be okay." He pulls back just enough to meet my gaze. "Right now, I want to focus on you."
I start trembling without warning, my hands shaking so badly that I have to clasp them together in my lap to keep them still. The tremors feel like they're coming from somewhere deep inside me. "I don't know what's wrong with me." I hate feelingthis vulnerable, especially when I’m supposed to be the one taking care of Luca and making sure the company runs smoothly and our pack has everything they need.
Maceo's expression softens with understanding as he tips my chin up further, leaving me no space to look away. "I'm not sure either, but we're going to take it slow." His voice comes out as a low purr, settling the anxiety swirling in my chest further. "Luther will be back in a few minutes, and Grayson is just finishing some stuff up downstairs. Can you hold on for a little while longer?"
"It's never been this bad before," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "But I can't see my Alphas. I don't know why it matters so much." I pause, trying to articulate the feeling that's been growing stronger all day. "Something feels wrong."
Maceo gathers me up in his arms before walking toward the nest but he doesn’t set me down next to Luca. He keeps me in his lap, just next to my Omega before placing a hand to my chest. “I want you to breathe with me. In and out. Feel the rhythm of my chest and breathe with me, okay?” I nod, doing as he asks, my gaze firmly focused on Luca as Maceo counts. The trembling subsides as I curl up against Maceo’s chest, my Beta’s scent strengthening as I calm. “I think your bond with Luca is much stronger than any of us thought was possible. I also think that some part of you is trying to be Luca’s protector regardless of if you know that you have us or not.”
My nose scrunches up with confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Grayson told me about the time Luca was in the hospital and his doctor called you because you were labeled asAlpha Blakein his phone. I know you were just trying to be there for him but on an instinctual level, I think that’s exactly what you were, what youarefor him.”
That doesn’t make any sense. “I’m not an Alpha.”
“No, genius, you’re not. Which is why you’re probably having a hard time. Your instincts want to do all the things that your Alphas do for you but physically, you can’t keep up. I probably should have figured it out before now because it happens to me, too.”
I frown and twist to look up at Maceo, seeing the crease in his forehead. “Because you should have been an Alpha?”
His jaw tightens at the question and he takes a few minutes before he answers. “Because I’m not really an Alpha or a Beta. Something in between, but it made more sense to me to be a Beta. I feel like a Beta until of course, I see you two and want to give you the world.” He huffs out a chuckle as he tightens his arm around me, his lips pressing against my forehead.
“I just don’t like feeling like this. Like thinking Luca will just disappear if I don’t see him. Like I have to be with him or around him all the time.”
My eyes widen as something cold touches my ankle and look down to see that Luca has scooted close enough to wrap his fingers around me. I guess we both need each other more than either of us can understand. Maceo just laughs. “Biology doesn’t always work the way we want it to. After all, I thought for sure I was going to lone wolf it for the rest of my life.” He drags his nose along my cheek and then down to my neck, my breath hitching in my throat at the contact.
I almost lean into him for more when my office door opens, my head flopping back to see Grayson stepping through. A grin spreads across my lips as I twist around only for it to be replaced with a frown at the scorched scent my Alpha brings with him.
"Hey, babe," Grayson says softly, his voice gentle but strained around the edges.
