Page 33 of All That We Keep
The sandwich falls from my hands as panic consumes me, my vision going dark around the edges as memories crash over me in waves. Hudson's hands on my body, his voice telling me I was worthless, that no one would ever want a broken Omega like me.And underneath it all, that other voice as it discussed my future like I was livestock.
Footsteps pound toward me, Maceo and Grayson rushing into the room within seconds. "Luca, what's wrong?" Grayson asks, immediately moving to gather me into his arms.
My body trembles in his arms as my breath comes in short gasps. Maceo spots my phone where I dropped it and picks it up, his expression growing dark as he reads the messages. "How long has he been texting you?" he asks, his voice carefully controlled but laced with anger.
"I just didn't want to say anything and ruin the happiness we have," I whisper, shame flooding through me at the admission.
Maceo's expression softens immediately. "Sweetheart, you're not alone anymore. You have all of us to take care of you. Was this the only text?" I shake my head, tucking my face into Grayson’s chest as Maceo lets out a heavy grunt. “Jesus Christ, the buyer’s been texting him.” I knew I should have permanently deleted everything and not just sent it to the trash.
Grayson holds me tighter, one hand stroking through my hair as he tries to calm me down. "What happened?”
"I remember the buyer," I say through my tears. "He came to the house one time, but I don't know who he was. I don't know if I ever saw him face to face. I just know I was terrified of him. I heard his voice, and his scent was there, but I can't place it."
The memory is frustrating in its incompleteness. I know there was someone else there, someone important, someone who had power over Hudson in ways that scared even him. But the details are fuzzy, obscured by trauma and the dissociation that helped me survive those months.
"I’m not even sure if I could point him out if I met him again," I continue, my voice growing stronger as Grayson's presence grounds me. " I don't know who he is. Hudson kept me hidden most of the time when other people were around."
"Hudson will not get to you or our babies," Grayson promises me and I choose to believe that because the alternative doesn’t work for me.
Maceo settles beside us in the nest, reaching for the sandwich I dropped and offering it to me with a gentle smile. "You need to keep eating, sweetheart. The babies need their nutrition."
I take a small bite, the familiar taste helping to further ground me in the present moment. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the texts. I just wanted to protect what we have here."
"You don't need to protect us from information," Maceo says gently. "We need to know about threats so we can handle them properly. That's what a pack is for." He presses closer, the heat of his chest against my back cocooning me between them.
Grayson nods in agreement. "From now on, anything like this comes straight to us, okay? No more handling it alone."
I nod, some of the tension leaving my shoulders at their reassurance. They're right, of course. I'm not alone anymore, even though sometimes it still feels surreal to have people who actually care about my wellbeing. "Can we talk about something else?" I ask, needing to shift my focus away from the dark memories. "Like the nursery? I've been thinking about more things we might need."
Grayson chuckles even as his face lights up. There’s barely any more room in there but everything is just so adorable and cute. I have to have it all. "What else did you want to add? We've got the cribs, the changing table, the rocking chair..."
"Maybe some artwork for the walls?" I suggest. "Something colorful and cheerful. And I saw these really soft night lights that project stars on the ceiling."
"I love that idea," Maceo says, pulling out his phone. "Let's order them right now."
We spend the next hour browsing baby websites together, adding items to our cart with the kind of enthusiasm I neverthought I'd experience. Soft blankets, stuffed animals, books for when they're older. Each purchase feels like a small act of hope, a declaration that our babies will have everything they need to feel loved and safe. It shifts my focus away from the darkness and toward the future I’m so desperately trying to prepare for.
"What about names?" Maceo asks eventually, settling back against the pillows with his arms around both Grayson and me. "Have you thought about what you want to call them?"
I've been thinking about this for weeks, rolling different options around in my mind like smooth stones. "I like James," I say quietly. "James Blake, maybe? After Blake, obviously."
Grayson's smile is radiant. "Blake is going to cry when he hears that."
"And for the other one..." I pause, suddenly feeling shy about sharing the name that's been in my heart for days. "I was thinking about Samuel. Samuel Gray?"
"After me?" Grayson's voice cracks slightly with emotion.
I nod, my cheeks warming with happiness. "You've been so good to me, both of you. You've helped me feel safe and wanted and loved. I want our babies to carry pieces of all of you with them. I’m going to have more babies. Well, after I have Blake’s. But then I’m going to have more."
Maceo's arms tighten around us both. "James and Samuel," he says, testing the names. "I love them both."
"Middle names too," I add. "James Blake Keller and Samuel Gray Keller." An image of the horde of children I want running our house makes me smile. It’s going to be chaos as I become the stay at home daddy, the Omega I always truly wanted to be when I presented, the one Blake made me feel like I could be.
"I can't wait until they're here," I murmur, one hand resting on my belly, a small kick reaching my palm. "Until I can hold them and see their faces and know they're really mine." There’sanother small kick before I raise my palm to my lips. “I can’t wait to meet you James and Samuel.”
19
Luther
