Page 80 of Absolutely Pucked
The gutting part was when Nugget rushed up to me and nudged my calves to be picked up. I gave her a single squeeze and a kiss on the head, and then I was gone.
And now I was here.
The apartment was sparse—a single sofa, no tables to speak of, hardwood floors, the biggest cat tree I’d ever seen in my life, and a shelf full of binders, which turned out to be braille books. Jonah gave me a cursory tour before turning all of his attention to his cat and getting her settled in.
She had a collar with a bell so he could hear her in every room, and food and water dishes placed low so she’d always be able to find them.
It was sweet. I might have enjoyed it more if I weren’t busy trying to shove my shattered heart back into my body.
“Are you conscious?” Jonah asked.
I forgot I had to be verbal with him. Clearing my throat, I shook my head. “I think if I try to put anything in my stomach, I’m going to throw up on the floor.”
“Please don’t do that. I literally just got this place.” He wrapped both of his hands around his mug and took a drink of something that was most definitely not tea. Irish coffee, if I was right about the scent.
“Do you mind if I, uh…” I trailed off.
He frowned. “If you’re gesturing, I can’t see you.”
“No. Um. Sorry. I feel a little…”
Jonah sighed and set his mug down, trailing hisfingertips around the counter until he was at my side. “Come with me. I just moved in, so don’t let me smack into any walls.”
He led the way to his bedroom—I assumed it was his bedroom, with a bunch of moving boxes stacked neatly along a far wall and a huge bed with messy covers. He took shuffling steps until the front of his shins met the mattress, and then he gave me a shove, and I toppled down.
I had no strength left to fight. “Why are you helping me?”
He let out a heavy sigh and felt for my leg before sitting down. “Because in spite of your royal fuckup—and bud, this was a royal fucking fuckup—I think you’re a good guy.”
I grimaced and rolled onto my side. His hand stayed glued to my leg, and I assumed that was his form of eye contact. “Everyone would disagree with you right now.”
“No. Tucker disagrees with me right now because he’s hurt and pissed. Boden might disagree because he always takes Tucker’s side in everything. Ford is probably puking his guts out because that man is wildly in love with you?—”
“That’s…he’s not…”
“He is, and I’ll thank you not to act like I don’t know my friend,” Jonah said with a sniff. “Ford has never lied to his friends. Not ever. He would rather pull off his remaining limbs than do that. So if he did it for you, there’s a damn good reason.”
I hated to hear that. I didn’t want to hear it. That made the pain so much worse. I could deal with myown, but to know he was suffering? “I don’t know how to make it better. I will not come between him and Tucker. I can’t.”
Jonah stroked a touch up my leg, then began to rub my back gently. I was not used to having people be tender with me. Not like this. I leaned into it, and he chuckled. “God, you’re such a marshmallow. I wish you hadn’t been such an epic douche bag in the past. Imagine how good it could have been if you and Tucker had come here together.”
I didn’t want to imagine. That was killing me.
“Look,” he said after a beat, “you need to take it easy, okay? Take some time and get your shit together. It’s only been an hour since everything went down, and I’m willing to bet if you give Ford an inch, he’ll come running miles here to be with you.”
“No,” I said, sitting up halfway.
Jonah startled. “No? Why the fuck not? I know you love him too.”
I bit my cheek. I did, but I wasn’t willing to say that out loud right now. I’d already taken the risk, and it had blown up in my face. “It doesn’t matter how I feel. I don’t want Ford to feel like he can choose me because if he does and Tucker cuts him out, he’s going to resent me. It’s bad enough that my brother is going to hate me forever.”
Jonah’s face fell, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing. “I get it. I wish I had a solution for you, bud.”
“You’ve done enough. You’ve done more than anyone else has. I appreciate it. And I promise I’ll be out of your hair soon.”
He shook his head. “Take your time. The season’s almost over, so I get to rot for a few weeks before training camp starts up. If you don’t mind the couch?—”
“I would take the floor if I had to,” I told him. “But I won’t stay long. I can’t keep working at the supermarket, and I think it would be better for Tucker if I stayed out of town.”
