Page 47 of Absolutely Pucked
He met my gaze and held it. “I want to share. I like sharing with you.”
Yep. I was hard. He didn’t look down though, so I had time to turn away and limp my ass back to the table and sit. Hissing, I stretched my leg out, but it didn’t help.
“Want your crutches?” he asked, still not looking over.
I groaned and flopped forward until my head hit the table. “Yes, but no. But yes.”
He sighed and walked out of the room, returning a moment later with them hitched over his shoulder. He set them against the wall near me, then looked down. “Want help getting your leg off?”
I hadn’t been without my leg much since he moved in, which was kind of ridiculous. He’d seen it. He’d touched it. He fucked me into oblivion while holding the end of my stump to keep me balanced, and it hadn’t bothered him at all. At least, not that I could tell.
So I had no idea why I was being weird about it.
I needed to get over myself. “Could I just hold your shoulders?”
He nodded, then offered me his hands to help me up. We were almost chest to chest, and my breath caught in my lungs as he stood still and bore my weight. I dropped my pants to my knees, then undid the strap to release the pressure against my skin. I took my time pulling the socket off and then massaged my stump until I could feel it thicken with blood flow.
“Better,” I said with a sigh. I hitched my pants back up, then eased my socket out of my pant leg with a little twisting to get the hip piece out.
Killian held his hand out for it. “I’ll put her in your room.”
The way he said that—how he anthropomorphized Carol-Ann the way I did—was unexpected. It was different. Everyone indulged me about her, but people didn’t respect her the way I wanted them to.
Even Tucker thought it was ridiculous.
And maybe it was, but it was my way of coping, and it worked for me.
I didn’t want to think about the way Killian made me feel. The way he seemed to react so fucking perfectly. The way he just sort of fit against all my jagged corners and sharp edges like he was a puzzle piece made to soften and complete me.
I swallowed heavily, then handed her over. He was delicate with the leg. He didn’t carry it like it was furniture. He carried it like it was my actual limb, and fuck me…yeah. I was hard again. But it was like an emotional boner, which was really throwing me off.
Desperate to keep busy, I grabbed my crutches and slipped my arms into the cuffs, basking in the relief from the pain as I made my way to the stove. “Is this done? Can I serve us?”
Killian appeared and scoffed. “Go sit down. It’s my turn to wait on you.”
I stared at him. “Uh, no way, babe.”
His face reddened, and it took me a second to realize what I’d just said.
“I—oh. No, I didn’t mean it like…I just.” I took a breath, then lied and said, “I call everyone that.”
He bowed his head, and it was obvious he was trying to hide his hurt. But he failed. And I hatedmyself a bit for both wanting him and for betraying Tucker.
“Of course. I mean, I know you don’t mean it like that. That night was?—”
“Killian.”
“No. Seriously, it’s fine. I have zero expectations, Ford. Okay? I swear.”
He probably meant that, and I wish he didn’t because God, this would be so much easier if he didn’t. I could just give in and make us both happy, and then I’d…fuck. I didn’t know what I’d do. Live with the consequences? Sacrifice the only people who ever made me feel like family because I had a hard-on for the guy who fucked up Tucker’s life?
“I don’t regret it,” I said after what was probably too big a silence. I heard him suck in a breath, but I kept my gaze trained on the pot of simmering dumplings.
“Not even after?—”
“No,” I said, cutting him off. I didn’t want him to say it. Calling up Tucker’s name right now would make it feel too real. It was the truth, and I should regret it, but I couldn’t. “It was probably one of the best moments in my life. Well, recently, anyway.”
“And then I left you there,” Killian said.
