Page 24 of Absolutely Pucked
But I was counting on Ford not looking my way.
I just wanted to indulge in the sight of him.
I had four months to lie low and not nearly enough to pay for a hotel room if I wanted to be able to eat, but I’d slept in my car for weeks after fleeing California. I could do it for a little while longer. There was finally a light at the end of my tunnel. God only knew what I’d look like when I came out the other side, but at least I would be alive.
And I would be free.
I hadn’t known what freedom tasted like in nearly a decade, and the thought was dizzying. Terrifying. I wasn’t sure I’d know what to do with myself when it was all over.
Taking a breath, I stretched out as best I could in the back seat and stared at the roof of the car. This was my one asset left worth anything. It had been my first big purchase after getting my promotion, and walking into the dealership and handing over a check with the signing bonus I’d been given had been a rush.
I felt powerful.
I felt important.
Now, I was huddled up under a cheap twenty-dollar comforter I’d bought from a discount shop, in an apartment parking lot, trying to catch a glimpse of the first man I’d ever had sex with. And the only person who had ever made me feel like I was catching fire and wanted to burn.
Reaching up, I traced a crease in the fabric of the car roof with the tips of my fingers. I hadn’t heard from Damir, but I had a feeling he was pissed at me for the way I took off on him. It was a dick move, leaving a note and escaping while he was at work, but he would have talked me out of it if I’d waited.
But I was tired of being a burden.
This whole living in my car thing wasn’t sustainable, but it was a start. And I didn’t think getting a random job was going to break the terms of my deal with Daniel. I just couldn’t work anywhere with a reputation that would have done me any favors.
I was pretty sure he and Delia both would have enjoyed watching me sling burgers at some hole-in-the-wall diner. And frankly, that was becoming more appealing every night I curled up in my seat with sheets in the window and a prayer on my lips that I’d get through the night without freezing to death.
It wasn’t winter yet…but it would be before I knew it, and while SoCal got cold, it was nothing like the deep East Coast with snowbanks higher than my eyeline.
It was best not to think about it now.
Movement caught my eye, and I hunkered down even further, straining my ears for any sound of a voice. There was no one, but when I was brave enough to peek over the edge of the window, I saw Ford’s car leaving his spot. I could just make out his profile—the sharpness of his nose, the curls in his hair, the movement of his mouth as he started to sing along to whatever music he had blaring on his radio.
My heart did a little kick-flip. I had no business feeling this way about him.
He didn’t even know who I was, and it really needed to stay that way.
My only real hope about being in Turenne was to do enough work that Tucker might hear me out. I wasn’t expecting forgiveness, but a path forward to being in his life again was better than nothing. I would take whatever punishment he wanted to dish out.
And, in truth, he deserved to know about Delia and the things she’d said. We’d both been wrapped up in her lies.
My phone buzzed a moment later, and I glanced at the screen. I’d applied for a couple of jobs in town, and the text was asking me to come into the little coffee shop up the street for an interview in the next half hour.
Shifting, I leaned over my driver’s seat and grabbed my wallet. There was no sense in wasting gas on this little trip. Not when literally every penny countedtoward my survival. Peering into the mirror, I looked haggard, but I was still clean enough from the last shower I’d stolen from Damir’s place before I left, and I could easily hop over to the gym for a guest pass when I needed it next.
Glancing around the car, I let out a heavy sigh, then stepped out and stretched. My body was cramped from being twisted into too-small shapes for a grown adult. The walk was going to feel good, and while there was a huge storm on the horizon, the cooler air felt comforting against my skin.
I locked up behind me, then headed down the street, where I could see the café sign perched next to the bus bench a mile down. Traffic was low, and I kept my head bowed in case Tucker drove by, though I doubted he’d be able to see me from a passing car.
That was my only saving grace, and I hated myself for taking advantage of it. But I didn’t want to speak to him yet. Not before I was ready to confess every sin that had been committed over the last ten years.
My feet ached by the time I reached the café. I was in the wrong shoes, and I was going to get blisters, but the pain was grounding. I needed it to feel like this was all real.
Inside smelled like fresh baked goods and brewing coffee, and my stomach rumbled, but coffee shop pastries were most definitely not in my budget. I was currently living off gas station hot dogs and the cheap dollar-store packs of crackers, lunch meat, and cheese.
If I could get a job, I might be able to afford a pay-by-the-week hotel. If I could do that, I might start to feela bit more like a person again. But God only knew if or when that was going to happen.
“What can I get you?” the woman behind the register asked. She had bright green curls and piercings in each of her cheeks, which made her look like she had dimples.
“I have an interview with…” I grabbed my phone, but before I could open the message again, she answered for me.
