Page 64 of Lady Constantine & the Sins of Lord Kilgore
“The Enforcer taunted me in front of the other men every day, promising them I would break, that I would show the dishonor that was the core of me. I tried not to break,” Callum said, his throat squeezing tight and his heart thudding maddeningly hard. “But then he told me one day he had sent someone to find you. Fool that I was, I had spoken of where we lived. I don’t imagine it was hard to locate you with a few inquiries here in Town.”
She nodded, but eyes not wide with shock but narrowed in anger. That was his brave wife.
“He told me he would come to you and rape you if I did not do as he said.” She sucked in a sharp breath at that, but he continued. “He told me he was the ‘lord,’ as in my better, and I was his servant. I was to admit I was Mr. Selkirk to the other prisoners who were in the courtyard surrounding the chair I was chained to. He wanted to show that his will to make me say I was Mr. Selkirk was stronger than my will to maintain I was Kilgore, I suppose. It made him feel powerful. And I did admit it. I gave him the power willingly and gladly at that point.”
“Oh, Callum,” she said softly, her finger stroking across one of his scars on his wrist.
He took in the love she offered with her touch and continued. “He gave me more opium, and I had not eaten or drank, as I told you before, so it was especially powerful. He brought in a prostitute—”
“The one you drew? The one you said was me but not me?”
He nodded. “Yes. I knew it was not you at first, but my mind played tricks on me, and I thought it was you at times, when she…when she stroked me.”
“I would have killed him for what he did to you if I could have,” she said vehemently.
His strong wife. So forgiving, so enraged and protective of him, and she had not even heard the whole tale yet. He squeezed her hand but knew he had to push on. “He said my submitting to her ministrations in front of the men, it would show I had been defeated. I was not worthy to look up to, to admire. That the wife I had said I was going to escape for now meant nothing to me because I had no more hope of escape. I betrayed you by finding release in her hands. I was half out of my mind, and I wanted to protect you, but I cannot see that it matters most nights. I am haunted night after night by what I did.”
“Stop.” Tears spilled over her eyes. She pressed a finger to his lips. “You did it to protect me, and if I had been given the same choice, I would have done it in a heartbeat to protect you, to keep the hope alive that I might someday return to you.”
He kissed her finger and moved it. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I betrayed you and the man I wanted to be for you. I would never have willingly broken our vows. I love you. I have loved you since the day I met you. You gave me back the hope I did not even realize until last night that I had lost completely. I don’t care about revenge if it means losing you. All I care about is keeping you safe and building a life with you if you can forgive me and find a way to live with me, despite what I have done, despite the nightmares.”
“I already told you I forgive you,” she said with such love that he kissed her again. When they pulled apart, she offered him the gentlest, most heart-wrenching smile. “You survived and returned to me, and that’s all that matters. There’s nothing to forgive. What would have been unforgiveable was if you had died there, if we had never received the chance we now have.”
“I love you,” he said, cupping her face, his own emotions making him tremble.
“I know,” she replied, her tears sliding down her face. “I love you, too. We will work everything out somehow.”
He nodded. “Together?”
She offered him a wry smile. “I should think so. Trying to work it all out separately has not served us well thus far, now has it?”
Constantine’s recovery was maddening. Not because her body did not recuperate quickly but because Callum would not accept that she was better and treated her as if she were made of fragile glass that would break at any moment. As a result, he would not touch her, except for a chaste kiss, for the first two sennights after the explosion.
By the third sennight, she had threatened to leave him if he did not service her properly as a good husband should. He had relented after much cajoling and many well-placed kisses by her, as well as a new creation from Madame Toussant that Guinevere, Frederica, and Lilias had sent Constantine. It had been a glorious night—except when it came time for them to go to sleep. Callum had insisted they keep separate bedchambers because of his nightmares, but the time had come to approach him with an idea that had come to her during the long nights she’d lain awake alone in her bed, wishing her husband was with her.
She propped herself up on her elbow and traced a finger over one of the lash scars on Callum’s chest. “I have an idea of how we can get Ross to confess what he did.”
Callum went from smiling to frowning. “Don’t concern yourself with that. I want you to concentrate on regaining your strength.”
She smacked his chest. “My strength is back, as you well know based on the hours of pure bliss I just gave you in this bed.”
He chuckled, but his worried expression remained. “Still, I don’t want you involved in—”
“Don’t you dare,” she threatened him. “You told me the day I woke up that we would work everything outtogether.”
He looked properly chastised, or at least he looked as chastised as a handsome rogue could. “I’ve reconsidered what the word ‘together’ means. I do believe it means that I’ll confide in you what I am going to do, and you will stay safely in our home under guard.”
She smirked. “You know better than that. You could assign a dozen men to watch me, and my SLAR sisters would help me escape from right under their noses.”
He leaned his head down to hers and captured her lips in a long, lingering kiss. When he broke contact, he said, “It’s entirely too bad I didn’t have the members of SLAR with me in the asylum. I would have escaped much sooner.”
“Undoubtedly.” She kissed down the length of one of the scars on his chest. “Now,” she continued, looking up at his strong, exceptional profile once more. “Will you listen to my idea?”
“Do I have a choice?” He traced his fingers over her bare shoulder, sending shivers of delight down her spine.
“No,” she murmured, sitting all the way up, the coverlet falling away and revealing her nakedness.
He gave her a lusty look that curled her toes. “I want to paint you in bed just like this.”
