Page 49 of Seductive Scot
“Possibly. But ye should have gotten my good sense, too. Hopefully your brother will use his instead of screwing things up with Deirdre.” His mom looked to Maggie. “Yer sister is rather guarded herself.”
“She is,” Maggie agreed. “And if he hurts her but once, she may nae give him a chance to do it again.”
Chapter Fifteen
Because I liked you better
Than suits a man to say,
It irked you, and I promised
To throw the thought away.
~ A. E. Housman, “Because I Liked You Better”
Deciding to skip the nooning meal, Deirdre asked Dermot to tell Reikart how to get to Finall’s Cliff when he saw him in the great hall. She’d purposely avoided asking her sister, Grace, Shona, or even Rhys, who Deirdre concluded had somehow been dragged into the matchmaking scheme Shona had concocted. Deirdre needed some time alone to think about how she had managed to let herself be so susceptible to their suggestions.
At the top of the steep cliff, she paused to catch her breath, and then she made her way over the rocky landscape to her favorite spot overlooking the tree-lined valley. She could sit for hours staring at the rolling hills of Scotland and just soaking in nature. The air was cold but the sky was blue, and that was all she really needed. To her right were trees she had used for target practice many times in her life. She hadn’t been up here in well over a year, but things looked very much the same.
She moved toward the edge of the cliff to sit, the ground underfoot feeling less firm than it had the last time she’d visited. It had to be due to the enormous amount of rain and snow they’d gotten this winter. She sat in one of the patches of grass between rocks and dangled her legs over the edge. Then she allowed her thoughts to drift. Immediately, they went to Reikart.
She had been a fool. She’d had no intention of purposely seducing him, but she’d allowed the talk from Maggie, Shona, and Grace to fill her head with fanciful thoughts. She may intend to choose her husband, take her future into her own hands, but Reikart was not on the list of men to choose from. He wasn’t even from her time! Currently, her only suitor was Fearghas, and as much as she wanted to discount him, as much as she felt it would be settling, she could not just cast him aside—not yet. Yes, he was a smug man who only wanted her for the connections he thought she could now offer, but he was not abadman, not like Algien.
She pressed her cold fingertips to her hot face. Her emotions roiled within her like a violent storm. She could not afford to be silly or allow hope where none existed. She plucked at a piece of old grass and grumbled, “Accidental seduction… Is that even a true thing?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” Reikart’s deep voice rumbled from behind her.
Her heart squeezed, but she clenched her teeth against her body’s reaction to this man. This was a partnership of necessity, and nothing more.
“What are ye doing up here so early?” she asked, pushing her thoughts aside and rising. She turned toward him, and her heart ached in her breast. Why did he have to be so handsome?
“Because,” he said, “Dermot told me you’d come up here alone, and I wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“Why would I nae be?”
A distinctly uncomfortable look passed over his face, and he jerked a hand through his hair. “I thought I might have hurt your feelings with what I said about, well, my interest in you.”
Her cheeks grew hot with his words. He had injured her pride, but she’d rather eat dirt than admit it. “Ye assume I’ve given yer words a moment’s thought since ye said them. I’ve nae.”
Relief settled on his face. “Good. I was worried that I might have given you the wrong impression last night in the great hall.”
Real anger burned in her gut now. He was worried that she might have thought he liked her, and she had for a moment. She was a fool. She clenched her teeth until pain shot up her jaw. “Ye may relieve yerself of yer guilt, Reikart,” she said, praying her voice did not give away her ire. “I did nae think just because ye gave me a few compliments that ye wished to court me.”
“Right. Great,” he said, sounding vastly uncomfortable. “Because I wouldn’t want you to think there was anything wrong with you. You’re beautiful, interesting, and stunningly brave, and if I were any other man…”
She should let it go, and maybe she could have if he’d not said the part about her being beautiful, interesting, and brave, but his words made it impossible to squelch her curiosity. “If ye were any other man, ye would what?”
As he stared into her eyes, she could see the real struggle within him if he should tell her what he would do. Her whole being seemed to be filled with waiting.
“I’d pursue you. Court you, as you say in your time. But that’s not possible for me.”
“Because of Amanda?” she blurted, unable to contain the question.
His eyes widened, and for a long moment, she didn’t think he’d respond. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. How much do you know about Amanda?”
“I know ye loved her, and she died, and ye blame yerself.”
He looked angry for a beat, and then his shoulders lowered as if the burden he carried had just gotten a little heavier. “I blame myself because it wasmyfault. I let my anger at my dad and my pride push me to be reckless, and I caused an accident that killed her. So, you see, I won’t let myself care for you—not in any romantic way. But it’s notyou. I just didn’t want you to think it was.”
