Page 53 of How to Heal a Highland Heart
Fourteen
Patience did not move at all, but she might as well have. A cavern opened between them. They sat side by side, legs still touching, but he could feel the walls up around her once more. And he couldn’t blame her. Far from it. He wished to God he could have simply lied to her, but he could not. He didn’t want to feel so strongly for a woman again that if he lost her, a hole would open in his chest once more. Then the intense pain would start, and it was pain that did not dull for a long time. And even when it subsided, it left scars that numbed you so you could go on living.
No, he didn’t want any more of the kind of pain that came from loving a woman.
Yet Patience was now his wife, and she had awoken something in him. He didn’t even want to admit aloud what effect she was already having on him. If he didn’t give the emotions a name, if he didn’t acknowledge the strings that were binding them, maybe they would not grow stronger. Maybe they could be happy without the all-consuming emotions he’d once experienced. Except passion. He wanted all-consuming passion with her. God, did he. He glanced sideways at her, and she sat very still and very stiff. There would likely be no passion tonight, because he had not kept his clot-heid mouth shut.
“I’ll walk ye to yer bedchamber,” he said, starting to slide off the bed.
“I dunnae wish to retire to my bedchamber,” she replied quietly.
He didn’t want her to, either. It was galling how much he didn’t want it. Even if he was not going to join with her this night, he’d like her by his side as he slept. That was exactly why sheshouldgo, but she would be safer by his side. “Would ye feel safer here?”
She gave him an odd look, as though he’d made an inane comment. “Well, aye, but I dunnae want to stay in yer bedchamber to sleep.”
Her words were manna straight from God. He must have taken pity on Brodee, he thought wryly. “Ye dunnae?” he asked carefully, sure he was misunderstanding in his lust-filled state.
The shy look she gave him nearly sent him straight between her thighs, but he managed to restrain himself and stay at the edge of the bed.
“I’d like to experience what it’s like to have a man between my thighs who is there to please me,” she said.
His sweet wife’s face turned scarlet, but it was the most beguiling thing he’d ever seen. He started toward her but then stilled, struck with a worry. “Patience, passion will nae sway my mind.”
“Who said anything about yer mind?” she asked, almost flippantly.
He frowned. Why the devil did she not want to sway him? And why was he not simply glad of the fact that she did not want to do so? God’s teeth, his head was a mess, and the lass before him was the cause.
She waved her hand dismissively. “I dunnae care if ye wantthosefeelings again. I was going to say if ye felt that way once, then maybe we could live amicably.Ye interrupted me.”
“Ye were going to say we could ‘live amicably’?” Disbelief filled his voice.
“Aye,” she said, matter-of-fact. So matter-of-fact that he was inclined to believe her, and damned if he didn’t feel irritated, but why he felt that way he did not exactly know. “Now, if ye care to introduce me to pleasure, I think I’m ready.”
He studied her for a long moment. Her voice was full of bravado, but her pulse beat rapidly at her neck, making her vein rise and fall quickly, and she’d unknowingly dug her fingers into the bedcover. His wife was trying to pretend she was no longer scared to join with him. He had no notion why she had adopted this new pretense, but he’d not deny the gift. Still, he knew the care he must take with her, for he saw the fear she tried to hide.
“Scoot to the edge of the bed,” he said.
Her eyes widened. “So ye can come between my thighs?”
His became instantly hard. “Nae yet, lass, nae yet.”
This time, she did as he’d instructed, slowly moving to the edge as he scrambled off it to kneel before her. He set his hands on her legs and felt her trembling; he was surprised to find he was trembling a bit himself. It was if he was a green lad who’d never had a woman. Slowly, he parted her legs and positioned himself between her firm thighs. He ran his hands up her silken skin, imagining her legs wrapped tightly around him.
“So ye dunnae believe ye can feel pleasure?” he asked, his voice husky. It was a God-given miracle that he’d not simply tossed her skirts up already. She was the loveliest woman he’d ever beheld, and her heavenly smell enveloped him.
She nibbled her lip nervously. “I’ve nae ever felt it before.”
“That was nae ye, lass,” he assured her, wishing her two previous husbands were still alive so he could kill them himself. He skimmed his hand over her hips and then splayed his palm over her flat belly and slid it up between the valley of her breasts. He rose to hover over her and move his hands to her collarbone. He wanted to taste every bit of her, explore every part of her, and bring her sensations of absolute ecstasy in places she likely did not even realize she could feel such things. Anticipation became the beat of his heart.
“Ye dunnae have anything to fear,” he whispered, wanting so much to wipe away her worry. It was such a natural thing, a thing that should be nothing but pleasure. “I would die before hurting ye,” he vowed, running his fingers along her collarbone and then following the same path with his lips.
She watched him with those dark eyes that could look so fathomless. In this moment, though, they held concern with just a hint of anticipation. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, her nose, her chin, each of her cheeks, and finally, he claimed her mouth. He kissed her slowly, gently, massaging her lips to stir her desire. Once it burned hot enough, it would incinerate all other thoughts from her mind.
She parted her lips on a moan, and he slid his tongue inside her mouth, relishing the honeyed taste that was uniquely her. Her tongue tangled with his, and her hands came to his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as she moaned again. Her desire was rising as he’d wanted, but so was his, fast and furious. He pulled his mouth from hers to trail kisses down her neck to her chest. With a gentle tug, he pulled down her bodice and released her breasts.
He sat up then, emotion he did not want to feel but could not stop rising inside him. “God, ye’re beautiful,” he murmured, his voice catching on the last word.
“I’m nae,” she replied, moving to cover herself, but he caught her wrists and pulled her hands up above her head.
