Page 7 of When a Warrior Woos a Lass
“Alex,” the king promptly answered.
Shock flew through Alex followed by the need to voice his disagreement, but when he caught Lena’s unguarded gaze, fragility flickered in her eyes. He could not offer himself. To do so would be saving her from one devil and giving her to another. He was not the man for her. He was not the tender man she needed. Those emotions, that part of him, was simply dead. And yet… How could he say no? He could not explain, and he feared she would think it was her he was rejecting.
“Unless, of course,” the king said, interrupting Alex’s thoughts, “marriage to Lena dunnae please ye, Alex.”
His chest tightened as he studied her. Her gaze was down toward her slippers, but with her hair pushed back over her shoulder, the flush covering her chest and neck was easily visible. Damn the king. His comments made it seem exactly as Alex feared—that he was rejecting Lena. His thoughts tumbled over one another, but there was no response that would not hurt Lena. If he said marriage to Lena would not please him, he’d hurt her and earn Iain’s ire. But if he married her, he had no doubt he’d hurt her in a different way and disappoint her.
Her small hands curled into fists once more, whether from embarrassment or fear of marrying him—or simply remarrying—he did not know for certain.
“Let me remind ye, Alex, yer land is mine to take away if I feel ye are nae faithful to me any longer.”
Seeing Lena flinch at the king’s words and what they suggested, Alex bit out, “Ye dunnae need to force my hand.” He didn’t give a damn about the land the king threatened to take, but he would rather die than make Lena believe she was not wanted, somehow sullied because of her past. He had to offer for her hand, but if she said yes, what then? He could not sleep in the same bed as Lena ever and risk one of his violent nightmares occurring.
“Alex!” the king boomed.
“Please, Sire,” Lena suddenly said, looking up. “He dunnae wish to be considered for marriage to one such as me.”
Alex cringed at her words. Such as her?The hurt in her voice cut him like a thousand daggers. “I’d be honored to have ye as my wife.” He prayed she did not think the words were spoken only out of fear of losing his land.
The wariness in her blue eyes made him twitch with anger at the king and Findlay Campbell. The woman had no notion how desirable she was. If Alex were a normal man, he’d have pursued her the day she had been returned to her family, but he was not like other men, at least not the ones he imagined were good husbands. But as he stared at her, he vowed to be the best man he could for her, and he prayed it would be enough. He took a breath and tried to settle the storm raging within him.
“If ye will have me, that is,” he said.
By the way Lena bit her lower lip, he supposed he had not succeeded in sounding pleased with the prospect of marriage. Damn his violent nightmares from his time with Gillis. And damn the way those memories had twisted him.
“What say ye, Lena?” King David asked. “Will ye marry Alex or shall I send a special messenger to bring one of the other warriors to us?”
Her gaze pierced Alex, making his breath catch in his chest. “I will nae make a good wife,” she said bluntly.
He admired her ability to be forthright and envied it. He was chained to his secrets for life, and sometimes the weight felt insufferable. He inhaled a long breath, fighting to calm the storm within him. He wanted more than anything to offer some sort of truth to her. “I’m certain I will nae make an acceptable husband,” he admitted aloud, “so it seems we are matched.”
She gave him a tight smile, though barely. Still, he’d claim it as a victory, knowing the perilous times that they would face because of the torture he suffered from Gillis. Her demons he would slay; his own were the ones he had no notion how to defeat. Yet, now that the path of marriage was set, he was determined to win her trust and ease her worries.
“Iain,” the king said, “Why dunnae ye accompany yer sister to prepare herself for the wedding?”
Lena gasped. “We’re to marry now?”
Alex winced at the trembling in her voice. No matter what desire she inspired in him, he would keep a tight restraint on it.
“Aye,” the king replied gruffly.
Lena clutched at her waist as if she was holding herself together.
“Lena can find her way to her bedchamber on her own,” Iain said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m certain she’d rather have ye with her. Away,” the king said, and when Iain did not move, the king added, “I command it.”
Iain raked a questioning gaze over Alex. It was likely David wished to finish their conversation regarding the Steward, but Alex could offer no indication to Iain that he had any notion what the king might want. To do so would reveal information the king did not want known. So Alex shrugged, feeling much the betrayer to his oldest, most trusted friend.
The moment the door closed behind Iain and Lena, the king said, “I’ll declare at the wedding that I’m taking Cairnburgh Castle from ye for arguing with me over marrying Lena. It will seem ye are vexed with me for forcing ye to wed her.”
“Sire, there must be another way,” Alex ground out, hearing the anger in his own tone but not caring.
“Dunnae fash yerself, Alex. It is nae as if Cairnburgh is where ye live. I’m shocked a secondary estate even gives ye pause.”
“It’s nae the castle, Sire.”
“I’ll return the castle to ye the moment ye have discovered the traitors,” the king continued as if Alex had not spoken.
