Page 5 of All The Smoke
“I’m not…”
She cut me off. “Because in all forty-five years of my life, that has never fucking happened, baby. As a matter of fact your father isstilltaking care ofusfrom behind the prison walls.”
My father.
If I didn’t want to hear what my mother was going to have to say, I knew he was going to go off. He was another one that voiced his disdain for Jamal several times. The only reason neither of them had done anything to him was because I begged them not to and I had done good with hiding all of our shit up until now.
“Are you really doing this, Mama?” I asked, still in disbelief. She fussed, my granny fussed, and my father would fuss when they told him what I had going on, but none of them had gone this far before.
“You damn right I am,” she scoffed. “Isis Randall doesn’t take care of low life ass niggas, but by taking care of you, that’s exactly what the hell I’m doing. I didn’t hustle side by side with your father, risking my life and freedom, and build my empire up to take care of any nigga that isn’t named Kadeem Randall. If you want to run that marathon after a nigga that ain’t chasing shit but the next bitch’s panties, then do that, but you won’t do it on my dime, my mother’s dime, or my husband’s.”
“Ma…”
“Treva needs a dental assistant.” She cut me off as she stood, referring to her best friend. “If I were you, and if you had any sense, I would call her and see if you can start right away because if you don’t have my money by the fifth of next month then… well, you know how your mama is about her money, baby girl.” She winked, wearing a smile.
My mother played about a lot of things but her money definitely wasn’t one of them.Not even if I was the one that owed her. She and my father built one of the largest drug empires known in Atlanta and ran it with an iron fist, even frommy father’s prison cell, and neither of them discriminated. So while I wanted to think she was just talking shit, I knew better. I would be out on my ass before I could even blink on the sixth if I didn’t pay her.
“Enroll your ass back in dental school too. I paid too much damn money for your college education for you to just throw it away,” she shouted before I heard my door open seconds later. “Oh and I’m going to assume the busted lip and bruised neck is courtesy of the lil bitch’s ass you whooped because I know a nigga isn’t stupid enough to put his hands on K-Dot and Ice’s daughter,” she finished before I heard the sound of my front door closing. My hand instantly went to the place I knew Jamal had bruised by grabbing me roughly when I was beating that bitch’s ass. Compared to how I fucked them up, my injuries were light work.
Out of frustration, I swiped my plate off the table along with the paperwork my mother had left for me. I was disappointed that I had disappointed my family and allowed things to get to this point. I was so excited and ambitious about my education when I was a child and even as a teen. My parents gave me everything I ever wanted. I really did have the opportunity to do what I wanted to do with my life and I had been fucking up.
Love was one hell of a damn drug.
I met Jamal at a party in Crescent Manor when we were nineteen years old. One of his cousins was coming home from the feds and I allowed my best friend Morgan, or Mo as I called her most of the time, to drag me there. I didn’t feel like being there because my father had just gotten locked up about a week before that, but she insisted that I get out of the house for a while, so I conceded. That was one of the most vulnerable times of my life and Jamal knew that and took advantage. He was so sweet and loving in the beginning, hell he still was, but he wasn’t the cheater then he was now.
In the beginning it was all about me. He supported me with school and was very attentive to what I liked, wanted, and needed. My family even loved him, but six months into our relationship I went on vacation with my mother. While I was gone, Mo sent me pictures and videos a dancer named Vanity posted of her and Jamal. There was a variety of them, some of them out to eat, in a hotel room together, the clubs. They were all over Crescent Falls as if he didn’t have a girlfriend at home.
I was furious. So furious that I forced my mother to end our vacation early, came back home, and fucked them both up. I didn’t talk to him for a while, but eventually he was able to sweet talk his way back in. Since then, shit had been on a constant loop. Him cheating and lying, me fucking him and whoever up, him telling me they meant nothing and were just jealously wanting my place in his life, me stupidly listening then taking him back. That was how it always happened.
The ringing of my phone jarred me from my thoughts. I looked down and noticed it was Mo calling so I swiped to answer.
“Hey, bestie.” My voice cracked a little because once again I was about to cry.
“Aw, bestie, I’m about to come over.”
“No.” I sniffled, getting up so I could clean the mess I had made. “I don’t really feel like company right now.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I can come and just lay with you. We can eat junk and watch our favorite shows together. We don’t have to talk about any of it if you don’t want to.”
“As good as that sounds, friend, I’m still going to decline. My head is killing me so I’m really about to take something to knock me out, shower, crawl in bed and sleep my day away.”
“I want to fight you on it because I don’t want you laying around wallowing, but I know you probably need this time to yourself, but just know I’m only a phone call away.”
“I know. I love you.” I simpered.
Mo was truly my soulmate. Like I really didn’t know where I would be in my life without her. We had been best friends since birth because our mothers were best friends and had us around the same time and our fathers were homeboys too. We were all more like family than anything. She was always there for me and I would forever reciprocate that.
“I love you more. Call me if you need me.”
“I will,” I said with a smile before we hung up.
I finished cleaning my mess, low key pissed because I’d knocked all of my food on the floor and was starving, then threw a pizza in the oven before retreating down the hall to my room to start the shower in my ensuite bathroom. While the water warmed, I took a Benadryl because I knew it was going to knock me out cold then I showered. In the shower I cried and cried, still in my feelings from my mother and grandmother. I promised myself I was going to do better after getting it all out. They deserved better and so did I.
You weren’t going to let me know you were out?
I rolled my eyes as I read the message from Jamal. I had already blocked his main number and now he was texting me from his little trap phone.
You didn’t come get me out so I didn’t have to tell you shit.
