Page 11 of All The Smoke
“Told that nigga that he better start being worth the mothafuckin’ money I’m paying his ass fo’ he be taking a mothafuckin’ dirt nap.”
Noah laughed. He always laughed when I got to tweaking because he didn’t believe I was really on that kind of shit. He knew I was temperamental and impatient as fuck; he’d witnessed it my whole life. But he didn’t know I would really do that lawyer mothafucka somethin’. He believed shit was smoke and mirrors.
“You can’t talk like that on these phones, Solomon.”
“Fuck them. I can do whatever I want to do and dare them to do something.”
I hated the COs down there. They tried me every week I visited my brother, but fucked around and found out last time when I knocked the big, Black, burly one the fuck out last week for grabbing my arm. He was saying something to me about pulling my pants up, but I kept it pushing because for one, my pants were on my waist, and for two, I wasn’t under nobody’s rule and didn’t take orders from a soul. Shit like that was why I bumped heads with Bishop a lot.
“Anyways, did you study what I told you to?” he asked and I sucked my teeth. Every Sunday night before we got off the phone, he gave me a scripture to study, then the next Sunday or Monday he would ask me what it meant to me. I was outsidewhen he hit me the night before so he was doing the shit now. “Did you, Smoke?”
“Yeah, nigga, damn.”
“And?”
“And what? I don’t be feeling like bible study while I’m smoking, bro.”
I was posted in my living room and rolled a blunt while talking to him, so I sparked up and started my game system.
“Then put it out.”
“Bruh,” I sighed, set the blunt down, and went to the notes in my phone so I could get the shit over with. “Mark 11:25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you your sins.”
“Okay, and what does that mean for you?”
“That I need to allow niggas to play in my face.”
“Solomon,” he stated firmly.
“Aight.” I released a heavy sigh. “It means I need to be more forgiving of others so that when I make it into Heaven, Big G will forgive me for not living right.”
He chuckled. “Yes, show mercy to others just as God has shown us mercy.”
“I know, I don’t get it though, Noah.” I shook my head. “How can you forgive Ma and Bishop? Like they doing you dirty as fuck and you preaching forgiveness.”
“I’m not preaching anything,” he corrected. “I’m not ordained to preach anything to you and I just really want you to implement this, lil bro. I know how mad you are with them about my situation. I don’t want you answering to God about something that has nothing to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with me.” I frowned. “You my brother, their son, and they done said fuck you. I hate that shit fo’ real.”
“I know.” He sighed. “Look, let’s change subjects, I just wanted to make sure you read it like I’d asked you to. That’s it. How was Solo’s appointment?”
“Shit was straight,” I answered. “He gon’ spend the night with me so I can watch what he eating and shit, make sure he straight. Can’t depend on his mama for a damn thing.”
“You’re too hard on her, Smoke.” He sighed. “I told you that.”
“You too soft on her ass.” I frowned as if he could see me. “I do everything for my son, the least she could do is get her stupid ass in the whip I bought for her and take our kid to get his mouth looked at.”
“You’re saying that like you’re doing her a favor. She’s your son’s mother, you’re supposed to take care of her.”
“Shiddd, I ain’t supposed to do shit but stay Black and die, fuck you mean? That bitch out here fucking out of both pants legs, fuck I look like taking care of her ass?”
“Smoke, every other word that comes out of your mouth doesn’t have to be a curse word.”
“Fuck that.”
Laughing, he replied, “I knew you were going to do that.”
“Had to.” I chuckled. “You know I only started cursing to spite Ma and Bishop when I was a kid, but now it’s like my second language.”
