Page 85 of Dear Roomie
James
Outside, rain falls in heavy sheets, battering against the window of Chelsea’s apartment. Its constant droning covers all other sounds, creating the illusion of complete isolation. It’s as if the brick-walled living room exists outside of normal time and space.
Or maybe it’s me who’s disconnected.
Loneliness and I have become well acquainted over the past three weeks. I’ve been an island adrift in an empty sea.
Evelyn and Chelsea know something is wrong, but they haven’t had the time to grill me for answers. They’ve both been too busy figuring out their post-grad plans. I’m grateful for that. I don’t think I have it in me to try to explain my relationship with Morgan to them—or how I fucked it all up.
Every time I think about him, my heart pangs with a familiar dull ache. He’s been home more often since I broke things off with Tanner, but he still keeps his distance. I didn’t know I could miss someone I see every day, but I miss him so much it hurts; I miss our nerd show nights, I miss doing school work together at the tiny kitchen table, I miss finding his notes in the bathroom, I miss spending hours talking about anything and everything that came to our heads, and more than anything, I miss seeing his smile and knowing I was home.
The only thing I don’t miss is my asshole ex-fiancé.
Going from talking to him every day to never talking to him at all was jarring, but the sadness never came. I grieved that relationship long before it was over, so when the final nail was hammered into the coffin, there was nothing left to mourn. The twins are a different story, though. Their absence cuts me clear to the bone. Tanner hasn’t let me talk to them. He claims I lost that right when I threw a decade of commitment in his face. I claim he should shove my foot up his ass, and the conversation typically devolves from there.
He is handling the breakup about as well as I thought he would, which means he’s turned into a vindictive ass. If it wasn’t for the girls, I would block his number and be done with him, but I’m not giving up on them. They might not be blood, but they are my sisters too.
A pillow hits the side of my face, yanking me out of my pensive brooding.
“Are you even listening, Jamie?” Chelsea asks with a huff.
“What? No. I’m sorry, can you repeat that.”
She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at my response. “I said I got invited for a second interview at Galvtek this week.”
“Really? That’s awesome. I’m sure you’re going to blow it out of the water.”
“I hope so. I’ve deferred other offers for the off chance Galvtek will hire me.”
“They would be fools not to.”
She is going to kick ass and take names wherever she ends up, but the thought of her leaving sucks. Evelyn too, although she is still waiting to hear back from several schools before she makes her final decision on her graduate program. Regardless, both girls are on tracks that will lead them out of Athens, leaving me completely alone.
Well, alone except for Morgan, but as it stands, that’s the same thing.
He told me he needed time, but at this point, I’m not sure if that will ever be enough. I might have done irreparable damage.
“Have you figured out what you’re doing yet?” she asks.
Shit.
I haven’t given any thought to my post-grad plans. As much as I loathe to admit it, Jacqueline was right. I had been coasting by on the assurance that I would have a position waiting for me at Niarris. I can confidently say that option doesn’t exist anymore.
I hadn’t even thought about that.Fuck. It’s mid-March, and I haven’t even started applying for jobs. I’m so fucking fucked. I’ve been so caught up in the shit show that is my love life that I’ve neglected my future.
My dad is going to kill me.
I need to get my resume together and start applying, but I can’t go too far. I won’t leave Athens, not when there’s still hope for Morgan and me.
“No, not yet,” I admit with a grimace.
“Where have you applied?”
“I haven’t,” I tell her and look out the window again. I don’t want to see the disappointment on her face.
“Jamie,” she admonishes.
“I know. I know. But after everything with Tanner”—and Morgan—“it just slipped my mind.”
